Party! Party! Party!

I'm about to start getting ready for Juliann's New Year's Eve party. I'm excited, for the party, and for 2009.

I think I'm going to wear this new plaid shirt I got in Evansville, and my favorite skinnies, and my new black boots. It's a lot cuter than it sounds, lemme' tell ya.
;D

I'm spending the night at her house after the party. So, the next time I write it will be 2009!

♥

You'll be in New York City, at Times Square, for New Year's Eve. I wish I could be there too. Happy New Year; hope it's even better than last year.

New Year's Resolutions

- Play guitar and piano more, and practice a ton. I want to be much, much better at both.
- Read more, especially the Bible.
- Help out more around the house.
- Stop ignoring people, even though they really annoy me by sending really weird MySpace messages, all the time. Even if it is only a "hey", I will respond.
- Stop holding onto people who are only hurting me.
- Pray more, and go to God with all my problems.
- Visit Alora in Georgia, or buy her way down here.
- Make a YouTube video of me playing an orginial or song, or even a cover.
- Make straight A's next semester.
- Drive more.
- Get a job, and manage my money and time better.
- Write in a journal.
- Write more often.
- Stop biting/picking nails.
- Where whatever I want to school. You know how there is things that are so stylish, but no one will take a risk and wear them to school? Well, I'm going to.
- Talk to Alinane more.
- Save up enough money for a MacBook.
- Chill with Morgan; take a road trip in her RV.
- Buy concert tickets and go with Amy Jo.
- Work out with Mom.
- Actually start going to bed.


More coming, if I think of any before the ball drops.
c[:


♥

What do you say to taking chances?

Well, I say let's take 'em. I have to. I have to be strong now and move on, as bad as it hurts. I'm going to take a chance and let go of your hand. I was attached to your hip, and now I am a free person. I miss you, and I may always miss you, but I can't say I'll miss the person you are so rapidly becoming.


---

Today was an endless bore. I finally fell asleep at 3 o'clock in the morning, after watching Pearl Harbor and crying for a good bit. I must say, Josh Hartnett is quite the hunk. When his character dies in the movie, I cry for two reasons- 1) It's obviously sad, and 2) That beautiful face does not deserve to die or even pretend to die.

Anyways, I woke up and everyone was gone. I was home alone and I couldn't get my papa's humongous tv to work. It does all these cool, techno things like let you watch two things at once, but I couldn't find a way to simply get the remote to switch it from playing a DVD to watching cable. I was frustrated, to say the least.

But, I've missed reading lately, so I picked up 'Silent to the Bone' by E.L. Konigsburg and finally finished it, for the second time. It's a great book, I recommend it. Now I've started on the #1 New York Time's Bestseller 'The Shack' by WM. Paul Young. My dad finished it yesterday, and he never reads- he loved it. If he took the time to finish it and he loved it, I'd say I'm going to definitely enjoy the book, as well.

My phone's been dead all day, and I haven't wanted to use it enough to walk upstairs and put it on the charger. Honestly, my cellphone is not that important to me, like every other girl my age claims it is to them. I mean, don't get me wrong, I use it an awful lot, you could say 22/7, but when I forget it at home (which happens a lot) or it dies and I'm somewhere without my charger, I don't freak out and I'm not normally too disappointed. Unless, I was texting someone special.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and Juliann is planning on having a semi-big party. Well, for a town as small as Washington, it ought to be kind of big, I'd say. I'm excited about it and I'm excited about 2009. Whatever the future holds, I'm ready for it. I'm scared to let go of my past, and I miss my past, but I'm recognizing that I can do things on my own and make things happen for myself.

A new year, a new beginning.

♥

Wii

Well, I guess I have somewhat of an interesting story to tell. Two nights ago, the day after Christmas, we decided that we were going to go get a Wii for all of us. So, we get to Walmart and they're out of them, but they tell us that they're getting a shipment of 6 Wii's in at midnight. It was about 9 o'clock then. My dad wanted to go home and go to sleep before midnight, so he suggested I ask Amanda to come pick me and my three little brothers up so we could all go chill in Walmart until midnight so that we would be the first ones to get the Wii. So, I did. She came and got us and we went there, and we played Guitar Hero and saw Cody Zeller! Hahaha. Juliann came too, but she hadn't gotten permission, so she went home. We eventually got the Wii and went back to my papa's, and set it up and played. Juliann and her boyfriend, Danny, met us at my papa's. Juliann snuck out and Danny helped her. Apparently, they "do it all the time"? We all just hung out and ate snacks and talked and played Wii! It was pretty fun. The people at Walmart were totally sick of us though, haha. Because my brother's are the loudest and most hyper kids on the planet. And there's THREE of these crazy animals. And it was MIDNIGHT.
We're crazy. (:

Then I went home and spent the night with Amanda, after we had all stayed up at my Grandpa's house until 4 A.M. We got to Amanda's house when I realized that I left my phone and money at my (papa's) house. So, we went back. (I'm really not sure how anyone slept through all of this action!) I got in there and I couldn't find my phone or my money, and I was getting worried, because it was a lot of money. I found my phone, but still couldn't find my money. We ended up going back to Amanda's, but I couldn't sleep. I was really worried about that money, haha. My body couldn't take it anymore, so I did eventually fall asleep, at like 6 in the morning. Hahaha. Then I woke up at noon, and called my brother to see if he had found it, and he had. I was so relieved. So, we went back and got it and then we headed up to Evansville for the day. We chilled in Barne's & Noble's for an hour or two, and I finished two PostSecret books! (: Then we went to the mall and I got this amazingly cute shirt. Then we went to Target. Then we went around the world trying to find these pair of boots that I wanted. We had planned on going to see that new movie Seven Pounds with Will Smith (LOVE HIM!) in it, but my dad texted me and said he wanted me home. Of course, just my luck. We went to Shoe Carnival and finally found those boots, and when I got up to the counter they were cheaper than what I thought they were. I was excited, haha. (:

Then we went home. And I stayed up pretty much all night playing Wii with my littlest brother, Josiah. He's freakin' good at it, too! I'll kick your butt at bowling and possibly golf, and if I get lucky tennis, too. Other than that, I kind of suck. Just a tad. But I'm in training, so watch out.

Now I'm just sitting here writing this blog. I need to go take a shower, so I'll maybe write later. So you can hear more about my "interesting" life.
;D

XOXO, Emily

Drops of Jupiter

I haven't written on here in awhile, so I decided to give it a shot again.

I'm in Indiana right now, and I'm loving the time away from home. I needed to be away from everything and everyone there for awhile, but I miss Samantha dearly. Unfortunately, I'll be back soon.

I guess the biggest paragraph in this entry should be about Christmas? There's really not all that much to say. Since this world is so into material things, I'll go ahead and list the things I got, although I feel that Christmas is about so much more than tangable things such as: $200, a locket, clothes, books, the part missing from my keyboard to fix it, and piano lessons when I return to the infamous Hickory, North Carolina. That gives me something to look forward to.

I'm really enjoying the time I'm getting to spend with my family, lately. My daddy means the world to me, and seeing him get to visit his best friends down here and have such a good time with them makes me happy. He needs that. Which is why I think we should pack up and move down here, but for some reason, he doesn't fully agree. I'll survive down in Carolina, somehow, some way.

And I'm especially enjoying the time I'm getting to spend with Amanda and Juliann. We've hung out a couple of times, and I'll miss them so much when I go back home. It's quite depressing, really.

I don't really know what else to say, honestly. I'm pretty much a bore, ha. I'm going to go get some more of my Papa's lemonade, because it's amazing, and I've been craving lemonade for like, the past year.

Write sometime in the near future.

XOXO, Emily

I miss you, both of you, as much as I hate to admit it.

OH MY LAW!

I haven't been on here in ages! Geez, Louise. So much has happened in the past month or so that I have absolutely no clue where to start. But I'll try starting here...

Tomorrow I have ISS, which is In-School Suspension. But before y'all go thinkin' I'm a bad girl now, just listen. My mom made me tardy too many times (ask her!), so they gave me two hours of Saturday School. But I was really busy this weekend with two of my closest friend's Sweet Sixteen's and I forgot ALL about it. It didn't even cross my mind. So, now I have ISS tomorrow for accidentally skipping the original punishment.

I have it with Marlee. Haha, so at least I won't be alone, right?

SAMANTHA IS SIXTEEN! AND SO IS ELISE! :D Elise's party was amazing. We all dressed semi-formal in either purple or orange, so it was all color-coordinated. I don't think anyone really used orange in their outfit. Me and Samantha went dress shopping together and I got this purple dress that was kind of short, but not too short. And then I wore black ankle boots.

She had this band come and play, We Shout Goodnight. They were really good. And the guys were hot....

;D

Not that that's what counts. It's about the music. But, the music was amazing. They did an acoustic set. But I'm just saying, it's a pretty peachy extra if all the guys are super cute AND they can play an instrument.
Peachy.... haha, I know, I know, cool word.

I really need to get some sleep, because it's 12:37 at night. Or, in the morning, I guess I should technically say. But there is so much to catch up on, it's almost wearing me out just thinking about it. I'll write as much as I possibly can tomorrow.

Goodnight!

XOXO, Emily Love

I can't breathe without you, but I have to.

11:36

at night, and I should be asleep. Instead, I'll fill you in on a few things. Even though it almost terrifies me that people actually read my blog, because they're seeing me, in raw form. They probably think I'm completely out of my mind, and weird.

The situation with my best friend is only getting worse. I'm not going to say anything more, because I don't want to make something permanent that doesn't have to be.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 WAS AMAZING! Ahhhhhhhh! It was so corny, but that's what made it the best movie ever.
:P

It was so funny- Zac Efron's shirt was slowly rising up over his abs as he pulled his shirt off, and every single girl in the crowd was going "AHHHHH" as he did. Ahahahah.

Alora said her mom is going to call my dad tomorrow night so that they can talk about her coming in December. I'm BEYOND excited for that! It'll be the best month ever, just because of that. I love you, Alora!

TWILIGHT THE MOVIE COMES OUT IN 24 DAYS! :D :D :D

Okay, I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow after school I have church, which I'm physched for. Jesus Christ is amazing, and I can't wait to go worship Him in our new church buildng. Me and Samantha were supposed to chill, but she has to help her mom clean some office, so we can't. But I think we're doing something Friday for Halloween, so that'll make up for it.

Goodnight.
XOXO, Emily Love

P.S.- Somehow, today, I missed you extra terribly. I don't know how that's possible, but apparently it is.

"I remember when goodbyes meant only until tomorrow..."

Friday!

It's Friday, baby! What does that mean!? HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3! Hahaha, gosh, I'm a dork. I really don't care though- I want to see it. Tonight was supposed to be Homecoming, but it got cancelled because it's raining. So I'm trying to get some people, or at least just one person, to come see "High School Musical 3: Senior Year" with me.

I really need to go clean my room though. And I'm super hungry!

I'll blog later.

Oh, and about my two blogs last night- I'm not telling you to ignore them, I'm just saying that things might possibly be resolved. But that's always how it starts out, so maybe this time it's really over...
I don't know.

XOXO, Emily Love

"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you. I'd been broken beyond repair." -from 'Twilight'

Let's take a trip down Memory Lane, shall we?

I remember when I first met you. I remember how cool I thought you were, and how you hated me because I was "the quiet, shy girl who stole your best friend". But that never mattered to us, that you hated me, because it all worked out and we became best friends.

I remember how you helped me come out of my shell, helped me become me.

I remember all the nights we stayed up giggling and talking about boys, and our A2M dreams.

I remember how your mom always used to come downstairs at least twice to tell us to shut up and go to sleep. I remember your old room. I remember Kitty.

I remember going to Florida with you, and my family. I remember we cried while we listened to "Why Don't You Kiss Her?" by Jesse McCartney, sitting outside by the pool at my aunt's house. I remember that the next day my case to that CD fell out the window of the car, and we stopped- right there on the highway- to go get it.

I remember we used to write notes to each other everyday. I remember we used to share a locker. I remember all the songs I've written about you.

I remember going to that geyser with you and walking around it, and then down to the creek where your dad took pictures of us holding hands while we jumped rocks.

I remember crying with you, so many times, just hugging you. Somehow, I could tell exactly what you wanted to say through your eyes. We had a bond like no one else. I remember that when I hugged you, everything felt okay.

I remember how we promised each other we would always be best friends. Always.

I remember laying on the trampoline with you and looking at the stars.

I remember October 15, 2007. I remember the night before, when we were getting ready. I remember you did my hair for me. You were always so good at that. I remember us writing letters to them, together. I remember the car ride down there, when we stopped at McDonald's and saw those girls who were going to the same place. I remember walking in, how we were the only two jumping and yelling, and all excited. I remember seeing their dad and little brother. I remember the way it felt whenever he looked at me. I remember looking at you, treasuring that moment forever. I remember riding the farris wheel afterwards with you, and waiting for them forever. But they never came.

I remember crying as we left, holding hands, and your mom was mad because she had to get home and go to work the next morning. I remember how we were almost dead silent on the car ride home, until we finally fell asleep.

I remember December 10, 2007. I remember eating at Olive Garden the night before, and how the waitress told us that we better not forget her when A2M became famous. I remember going back to the hotel. I remember going to the mall, but it was closed, so we went back the next day. I remember buying my outfit for that night. I remember seeing all those chorus students in Starbucks, and we thought they were laughing at us. I remember going to the concert, and there was a limo right by the sidewalk, and we thought it was them, so we put our empty coffee cups on our heads and we were taking pictures, laughing so hard. I remember signing up for the guitar. I remember looking through the window, where we saw where the meet and greets would be, and Ballyn and Kristen were right beside us. I remember going in and finding out that our seats sucked, so we had Kristen stall and we snuck down there to be closer to them. I remember bawling and falling to the ground and looking right at you, holding your hand. I remember telling each other they were just normal people. I remember running to the bathroom and falling to the ground. I couldn't get ahold of myself. I remember sneaking back to the back of the building with you. Oh, I remember that so vividly. I remember how you told the guy that you thought your dad parked back there. I remember those girls up in the window, pointing down at us. I remember the shadows in the bus. Those shadows that were so very, very important to us.

I remember it was pretty cold. I remember meeting that guy who was kind of weird but so nice. I remember waiting on them forever. But again, they never came.

I remember going home, and the girls in the car were blasting their music and my dad yelled out and told them that we were their girls, not them. I remember on the way there you had wrote me this note on the computer about us being best friends, and I still have that saved. I remember going to Sam's before the concert, and you took a picture of me in the parking lot. I remember how I knew, or I thought I knew, that we would be best friends forever.

I remember how that was and always will be the best night of my life.

I remember everything.
Everything. This isn't even half of our memories. This isn't even 1/4.

And I won't forget.
Ever.

Now, everything's changing. Everything and everyone is against us. Are we going to let all of this tear us apart?

If we do let that happen, I won't forget. And as I sit here and cry while I write this, I'm not forgetting. I'm remembering. I'll never even try to forget.

You have been the biggest part of my life, besides God. I couldn't explain to you what you mean to me.

And if this is the end....


I just want you to know I love you, and thank you, for everything.

I miss you,

terribly. Yes, I read your blog.

I did try and talk to you. But you're always with or talking to him, and that's fine. I understand that you need him, and he needs you- and I couldn't be happier for y'all, seriously. I stopped trying to talk to you, because I felt like you didn't have time for me anymore.

You don't want a best friend anymore?


I guess I'll be gone now....


"People change and promises are broken."
10/15/07 & 12/10/07

Peace Out Day, dude

Today was "Peace Out Day" at school for Spirit Week. Tomorrow is Spirit Day, and the sophomores are supposed to all wear orange. So, I need to find something orange to wear for tomorrow!

I did really good on my Honors Biology test today! Haha, random, I know, but I'm pretty proud of myself. It was on meiosis, and I think I only missed like two or so questions.

Marlee wasn't at school today. We've barely talked all week. We talked during class Monday and Tuesday, and that's it....

My mom is off on some trip to Florida with her boyfriend. We're supposed to be with her this week. No other comment relating to that subject, *cough*cough*.

I love The Maine. Just thought I'd say that, they're amazing. I would tell you certain songs to go look up by them, but they're all good. Seriously. I guess if I had to choose one, as hard as that is, I'd probably pick "Into Your Arms". It says "Emily" in that song! Haha, but that's not why I'd choose it- it's just an incredible song.

Tomorrow night I'm going to the football game, it's Homecoming. Well, I think I'm going. My dad better let me! Then I'm either coming home or going to Megan's, I'm not sure which yet. I have Saturday Detention the next morning, because I have too many tardies. Normally I wouldn't be that excited about something as unfortunate as that, but this Saturday, so many of my friends have Saturday Detention! Haha, so it won't be that bad. After that I think I'm going over to Ariel's, and then we're going to hang out all day and then go to the Fall Fest at our church.

Then, Sunday, is our first Sunday as a church body in our brand new church building! I'm SO excited! It was supposed to be last Sunday, but it got changed.

I have this pimple, just ONE, that I reallllly want to get rid of. Hahaha. So, I need to go scrub my face with Neutrogena!

I need to go clean my room and then go to sleep.

XOXO, Emily Love

P.S.- I heard y'all broke up. As horrible as this may be, I'm hoping that's not just a rumor....

"And we both go down together, we'd stay there forever."

If I could be your angel...

It's been awhile since I wrote last. Well, sort of.

Anyways, my life's been... busy. Productive in ways, I guess. I assume you could say that a lot has happened since I last filled you in.

I'm doing alright in school. I'd like to be doing better, honestly, but I guess that just gives me room to improve. I like having a challenge.

I made it into Enoch! I forgot if I told you that already or not, but there you go- I told you again. Haha, I'm just that excited about it (:

"Seussical" was one of the most amazing and rewarding experiences of my life, and I'm not kidding. It made me fall in love with musical theater. Everyone in the cast bonded, and that felt so great- to be surrounded by generally good kids, who all care about each other, no matter what. When you're in theater, you automatically become a family, and I love that. I'm sad it's over... I'm definitely taking Play Production class next year!

I went home with Megan after school today, and we watched The Strangers. It was so scary! I hate scary movies. HATE. Kyle and Jamey came over to watch it with us. Me and Megan decided that tomorrow for Wacky Tacky Day at school we're going to dress alike. Our outfits are quite adorable, and pretty funny. I'll be sure and take a picture or two.

I had this horrible dream last night.... this man was trying to kill me and stuff... I don't even want to talk about it. It was terrible. I woke up scared to death and almost in tears. I wanted my daddy so bad. But I was at my mom's. I've been clingy with my dad lately...


This is for Alora Danin Rae Mize!

I love you with my entire heart. Everytime I look up at the stars, I think of you looking up at them too with me there in Georgia. I'm living for December, and that will be the greatest week of my life when you're down here with me. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't be me, Alora. I'm sorry we haven't talked as much lately, but I promise- that will change. I'm never too busy for you. You mean the world to me, and that's no joke. I LOVE YOU!

I'm so tired. I can't think of anything else I feel like typing out right now.

I'll blog tomorrow.

XOXO, Emily Love

P.S. I would watch as many scary movies with you as you wanted, no matter how badly I hate them.

Your video.... made me cry. "Breathless..."

"If could be your angel.... protect you from the pain....I'll keep you safe from danger.... you'll never hurt again.. I'll be your a-n-g-e-l. I'll be your angel."

Busy Bee

That's what you can call me from now on, "Busy Bee". You'd be telling the truth, that's for sure.

Shall we run through my schedule for the rest of this week?

Tonight I had play practice from 5-9 (P.M.) at the Green Room, so I rode with Chelsea, Davis, Marlee, Kaitlyn, and Candace after school there.
Tomorrow (Tuesday)- School. During school all the sophomores (which would include me) are going on a field trip to the Hickory Metro Convention Center for some kind of Job Festival or whatever. You're supposed to go around to all different sorts of booths and learn more about the career path you're interested in. Anyways, after school, I'm going to the Green Room with Chelsea again. After practice ends at 9 (a full-on dress rehearsal), I'm going home with Marlee and spending the night with her so we can carpool the next morning.
Wednesday- I have to be at the Green Room at 7:30 A.M. (I get excused out of school to be in the play). First performance of "Seussical", which will be for our school classmates. Then, we're picking up Elise and she's going to church with me. Well, youth, that is. This will be our very first night in our new church building and I CANNOT wait!
Thursday- "Seussical" performance.
Friday- "Seussical" performance. Marlee spending the night, possibly.
Saturday- Multiple "Seussical" performances, varying throughout the day. Samantha spending the night, possibly? That's not for sure yet, though.
Sunday- Church at 10:30 (A.M.). CHRIST ALIVE'S FIRST SERVICE AS A CHURCH BODY IN THEIR NEW BUILDING, WOOOOO! :D After church I'm going home with Tina, Jamie, Zack, Josh, and little Deanna and meeting Enoch there to practice. I need to remind myself to bring those clothes from when I was little to Deanna.


I don't think I'll have time to breathe. I hope I can get this all done, and done well!

I need sleep. Goodnight.

XOXO, Emily Love

"You seem so afraid, afraid you'll regret, regret getting closer and connected to me. And I feel like that too, but I'm scared, scared you'll leave while you still feel you can. So I'll just wait and see, so I'll just wait and see, and see... Let our eyes say words that we'll leave unspoken, while we're trying to be careful. And words can be so confusing, while we're trying to be careful. But not too careful. Fear, it has it's place, folded in squares squarely tucked in the back pocket of all minds. And yes, it's reckless to laugh, pointless to decide, just let your world collide with mine. Let's not wait and see...Let our eyes say words that we'll leave unspoken, while we're trying to be careful. And words can be so confusing, while we're trying to be careful. But not too careful. What's the average number of times people feel this way in a lifetime? Let's not waste more time."

ENOCH!

I have some pretty exciting news! Today, after church, I went home with the Herron's (Zack and Josh and their family) and we had another band practice/trial. After we were done they told me that I was now officially their new lead singer! I'm super stoked about it, you have no idea how much this means to me.
:D


This weekend was quite hectic. Friday, after school, I rode home with Marlee and we went to the game later. After the game I spent the night with Samantha. The next morning, me and Samantha went to go get her haircut and then to the Oktoberfest downtown. Then, after the Oktoberfest, I spent the night with Elise. Marlee came later.

I've had fun.
I've learned some new things about some people too...

And I miss Alora! DECEMBER, HURRY UP! Well, it might be November now?! I'm not sure though...



Anyways, I'm so tired. I'll write tomorrow.

XOXO, Emily Love

Genesis 5:24 "And ENOCH walked with God."

"Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist"

That movie was incredulously adorable! I most definitely, for sure, 100%, positively, absolutely recommend that movie. GO SEE IT!

Today was.... fun, but alot was still bothering me. New items were added to my "List of Annoyances/Frustrations/Depressional Reasons".

I woke up around 8 (yes, in the morning, on a Saturday- BIZARRE!) to go work at the concessions for my dad. He's President of Mtn. View Recreation, which is a sports center thing. Hahaha, I think you can get the picture. Anyways, I get paid to do that, so at least it's half-rewarding.

Then, around 2-ish, Samantha, her mom, and her mom's boyfriend Jim came and picked me up and we went to this art "festival" in the "boondocks". It was hardly what I would call a festival. There was a total of about 7 booths. We didn't stay long.

Before that we ate at The Taproom, which is this delicious downtown restaurant.

Then, we went back to the fields because my dad was going to take us to the movies. But he had too much stuff in his car and not enough room, so Samantha's mom came back and picked us up and we went to her house for a little bit before the movies. She recently moved to a new house, and I hadn't been there yet- so I got to see it. It's a nice house.

Then, of course, we went to go see "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" and afterwards we went to Target.

Finally, they took me home. I wanted to stay the night, because Samantha asked me to, but I have church in the morning and after church I'm going home with Zack and Josh and their whole family, to get ready for band practice.

Oh, and I wrote this song tonight. Here's the lyrics that I have so far:

"you're changing, i'm standing here alone
time's wasting, passing quickly all the same
you're changing, i wish i would've known
time's wasting, and you're forgetting my name

i don't know what to say to make you stay
now things are in reverse and i am breaking away
i'll wave goodbye, won't you run after me?
turns out broken promises is all we were meant to be"


I'll finish it sometime tonight, or tomorrow, or whenever the rest comes to me.

I need to get some sleep....
There is way too much on my mind. I know, I know, when is there not? This is starting to overwhelm me.

Goodnight.

XOXO, Emily Love


You're hurting me, and you either don't care or you don't realize it. Either way, you have no way to justify this. I need you to be here for me. Please?

I LOVE ALORA!

December seriously could not come any more excrutiatingly slow.


She's always there for me.
Always.
No matter what.

Maybe some other girls I know should take a few tips from her.
I know, that sounds bitter. I need to go to talk to God, and get my heart straightened out before things get worse (which they obviously are, even if I do post blogs with huge fonts)....


I LOVE YOU ALORA.



XOXO, Emily Love

P.S.S-

TODAY IS OCTOBER THIRD! NO, NOT JUST FIRST, BUT THIRD.


NO MORE GROUNDING FROM MARLEE!


:D

(Smiley faces do not have to be identical to my mood in no means. This should've been posted on October 1st, obviously, so this is making up for it. So, if you're thinking I'm a bipolar lunatic- I'm not exactly a bipolar one. Maybe a lunatic.)

What do I call this?

I don't even know what to title this blog. I mean, if I could at least get ahold of my feelings, I might be "decent" or even "okay", but I can't even do that....
It seems to get even more impossible everyday.

Alot of things are bothering me right now. I don't want to sound ungrateful or picky, but I really need to let off some steam.
(FYI: This steam isn't necessarily "angry steam" or whatever. It doesn't have to be an angry emotion, just to let you know.)

Today wasn't so good.

It started off amazing- with 1st period. We had to present our 3-D Cell projects to the class, and some people made cakes and stuff in the shapes of eukaryotic cells. There was some really creative stuff! But because my last name begins with a 'U', I didn't get to go yet. Instead, I have to present Monday. I wanted to present it today.... so, I guess you could say it all went downhill from there.

Civics wasn't especially anything. It was just Civics. Plain ole' boring Civics. Wait, wait- let me rephrase that. Plain 'ole boring Mr. Howard. Civics itself I find extremely interesting- call me crazy. Mr. Howard is a generally nice person, don't get me wrong, but he is just so bland. BUT- I made either a 93 or a 91 on the Chapter 6 Test today! That, actually, made me happy. I studied really hard for it last night. I would've liked to have made at least a 95, but hey- I'm not complaining. The only reason I didn't (not to brag) is because he put some questions on there that didn't even relate to Civics!? He even admitted they weren't relevant. Whatever...


Theatre Arts is always my favorite class. (And just a little sidenote: Marlee, if you're reading this, I know exactly what you're thinking. Maybe even Makenzie too. Y'all, ssssshhhh ;D) Anyways, back on-topic. Today, Theatre Arts was contradicting itself. It was still my favorite part of the day, but it's also when I started crying? I'm not sure how that adds up, but somehow it does. Mrs. Blake had me make copies for the upcoming production, 'Seussical'. (Oh! I forgot to say that Mrs. Blake wants me to be in it, as a "bird girl". I didn't even audition, she just asked me, because she knows I sing. So, I'll be a small part of that. Some other girls quit, and she needed help- and I love singing, and I like acting a lot too, so why not? More news on that will probably come later.) That took up the whole first half of that period. Then, I went to lunch. I forgot lunch money, and I was starving. It was quite depressing, really. Brittany bought me a cookie (Thank you so much!), but it didn't hold me up for the rest of the day. Plus, I really wasn't in the mood for anything sweet. I was extremely quiet at lunch.... things were building up inside me. I wasn't quite sure just what to do with myself, or what to think. I was texting Alora though, and of course that made me feel at least a little better. I can't exactly say what/who/the situation that was bothering me; people might read it and get offended or ticked off. And I don't want that to happen. I am most definitely NOT trying to cause trouble in any way, shape or form.

Let's just say...... people change in high school, BIG TIME. When I was younger, even most of last year, I just laughed it off when people said that for the most part. I figured that me and my friends were going to stick together through everything, and that our morals would never waver. I figured upperclassmen just said that to sound much cooler than us freshmen. Now, I'm a sophomore, and I'm not saying that's the reason I finally figured out that what they were saying was really true, but I'm just saying that freshmen year was like the final cut-off for 90% of everyone's innocence.

But not mine. I'm still so naive, and that gives everyone reason to take advantage of me. All my friends morals are in fact wavering, but mine are standing strong. It hurts to see everyone falling around me, caught in the same trap. If we were all soldiers, would I be the last one standing?

It's really ironic how at the same time I'm sticking to my morals, it pains me. Everyday. That's supposed to be a good thing, correct? But instead, I just get taken advantage of, picked on. I'm not bragging on myself- not one bit- I'm just wondering how such a "respected" thing in "Adult World" is considered "lame" and "uncool" in high school. I'm not giving up though. I refuse.

Is it okay to be strong and so, so weak at the same time? Is that possible?

Anyways, back to Theater Arts. I had to give someone his jacket back. Everyone, him first, could tell something was wrong. They asked me to talk about, told me that they were good listeners. It wasn't that I didn't believe them, it was just that just like every other time I try to explain my feelings in words rather than song- it made no sense.

I can't even exactly pinpoint the exact cause of my depression today- it was so many things at once.

I definitely can't put the name or what happened in here, because I don't want word to get back to him, as all of us in Hickory know it will. Small towns, fast talk. But something happened, and it was supposed to make me feel better- and it did. But it also made me cry even faster, and more.
I'm sorry- that probably makes no sense. I just wanted to say that, to get it out, for myself. Selfish relief.

Fourth period, Yearbook, was fine. I was still upset. And Makenzie could tell. It really pains me that she cared that I was upset. I know, I know, that seriously makes no sense. What I mean is, it made me happy that she cared, but it made me reminisce a bit. Back to when me and her were so close, like- inseperable. I don't know.... I just really, really miss Makenzie.


People change and promises are broken, right?
That's what some wise person once.... uh, sang, to me.

I've started a ritual. Every morning I have what I like to call a "Jam Session with Jesus". I only play worship music, and I just sing my heart out- to Him and Him only. I've been getting closer to Him, and I am more than excited about that. He's exactly what I need.

By the way- LITTLE SIDENOTE FOR MARLEE- thank you for my part in your blog. You know what you mean to me. I couldn't even begin to explain it on here, so, sorry love, I won't try.



Maybe I should stop.
I'm positive I'm boring y'all... at least a little bit, if not a lot.

I'll write more later though, there's still so much to say.

XOXO, Emily Love

"Sick and tired of this world, there's no more air. Tripping over myself, going nowhere. Waiting, suffocated, no direction, I took a dive and- on the way down, I saw you and you saved me from myself, and I won't forget the way you loved me. And on the way down, I almost fell right through, but I held on to you..."

If you only knew.

"I wanna' love like Johnny and June..."

I'm in complete love with that song.

Anyways, I don't quite know what to say. My feelings right now are so confusing, I guarantee you'd rather just not read this blog at all- but, here goes nothing...


So much has happened since I wrote last, I can't even begin to think of a place to start. So, for once, I'm just going to allow myself to ramble and see what comes out first, and what finally comes out last.

Today, I tried out for a band called "Enoch". The leader of the group, Zack, goes to my church, along with his brother, Josh. They want me to lead sing, if I make it. They're going to "vote me in" after a few more practices/trials with them. They said my voice was "really pretty" and "unique" and "lead vocals-type". But don't get me wrong- I know there's plenty of stuff for me to work on, still. I'm no masterpiece. I really hope I make it, I would love that experience. They're a Christian Rock band, and they're really good. I've always felt the calling to be in music ministry, and I feel that this is the perfect opportunity.

Honestly, I wish boys were not a part of my life- right now, at least. I need to focus on God and His plan for my life, whether or not that includes any such boy. I'm starting to crush really hard on this guy though, and for some reason... it just feels right, finally. But in the past, everytime I've really liked someone, they've never liked me too. Who's to say this time will be any different?

I think I need to go play the piano, or watch some tv. Something to get my mind off of him, and this, and that, and....


I'll write later.

XOXO, Emily Love


"I wanna' be there on the stage with you, you and I could be the next rage too. Hear the crowd roar, make 'em want more, kick the footlights out. I wanna' love like Johnny and June, rings of fire burning with you. I wanna' walk the line, walk the line, until the end of time. I wanna' love, love you that much. Cash it on in, give it all up. And when you're gone, I wanna' go too, like Johnny and June..."

"The Hills" Recap

I have to hurry on this, because it's almost time for Ariel to be here; she's picking me up to go to church. I still have to eat and "freshen up" and it's already 4:57 P.M.

Anyways, "The Hills"- I LOVED IT!
But, duh, I pretty much always do.
Shall we recap? I think we shall.

Lauren and Audrina- AWWW! They're back to being good friends, and they're little hug session was really sweet. I'm glad that they both settled their differences, because they had a pretty tight bond.


Spencer and Heidi- Good gosh almighty, I DO NOT like Spencer. AT ALL. Period, the end. He's a ruthless jerk, and Heidi is apparently too stupid to see it, or she's too scared to let him go. Either way, she needs Lauren back, because Lauren was her only true best friend. NEVER DITCH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS FOR ONE BOYFRIEND.

Spencer and Holly- Once again, Spencer is disrespectful to yet another person, who may I point he has no right whatsoever to be rude to. Holly is an incredible influence in Heidi's life, and quite frankly- she knows what's good for her sister, and that's NOT Spencer.

Holly and Lauren- Friends again? I think yes! I'm not too sure whether or not this is going to help Lauren and Heidi's relationship finally mend, but I think it'd be pretty cool if it did.

Holly and Heidi- Heidi is pushing away everyone except for Spencer, and then when she gets mad at him tries to flee and realizes she has no one. HEIDI, YOUR SISTER IS TRYING TO HELP. I like Heidi, but she does need help to get away from her stupid butthole of a boyfriend.

Lo and Audrina- Seems to me like they might just become friends after all, which, I think, is great.

Audrina and Justin- She's given him so many chances, let's hope this one finally works.

I think I've covered most of it. I'll come back and edit this if I remember things later that I missed.

And let me just say that I LOVE WHITNEY! She's so amazing, beautiful, and she really does stay out of the drama- instead of just saying she's going to. You go Whitney (:

I gotta run!
Write more later?

XOXO, Emily Love

Burnin' up

It's so frickin' hot in here! Someone definitely needs to turn the air on. I would, but my dad gets mad at me when I do. So, I'm not going to.

Today was okay. Fourth period was really fun! Me and Makenzie got to go around and practice taking pictures in whatever class we wanted, with the cool techno camera Mrs. Slaughter bought for Yearbook. It's an amazing camera, and we got to just chill out and see alot of our friends in their classes for a valid reason.

I'm stoked for THE HILLS tonight, baby! What a shocker; I always am, every Monday night.

I drove after school for Driver's Ed with Marlee. At first it was a tad awkward, but that was expected. Then I got comfortable behind the wheel (after running over a curb :D) and he took me out on the "real roads" and I even drove myself home. I was pretty proud of myself. I have to drive again tomorrow.

I MISS ALORA. She needed me today, and I really wanted to run all the way to Georgia and give her a HUGE hug- no matter how entirely breathless I would be. I drew her a picture in first period, Honors Biology.
:D

I just ate steak and green beans for dinner, and it was pretty good. I need to go clean up the kitchen, so I'll write more later.

XOXO, Emily Love

"I just want you to know, that I've been fighting to let you go. Some days I make it through, and then there's nights that never end..."

Fresh Prince @ 6:00

Every morning, at 6:00 A.M., Fresh Prince of Bel-Air comes on and I lay in bed and watch it, until 6:30 or :45 when I get up and get ready.
:D

I can't say much, I have to study a little bit for a Civics test before I walk over to Carol's. (Carol is my neighbor, she takes me to school every morning when I'm at my dad's.)

School ends at 3:05, and then I have to go driving for Driver's Ed, with Marlee and Mr. Shook. So, I should be home around 6:30? I don't know, somewhere around there.

Write more then.

XOXO, Emily Love

"A thousand times I've seen you standing, gravity like lunar landing, make me want to run 'til I find you. Shut the world away from here, drift to you, you're all I hear."

Breakfast for dinner,

that's what we had. It was delicious.


That's all I have to say.
Goodnight.

XOXO, Emily Love

I

want to be near you.
I want to know that everything's going to be okay.
I want to tell you how badly I need you.
I want to tell you I love you.
I want to hug you, to hold you.
I want to show you what we could be.
I want to let you know how much I think of you.
I want you to know how much I care for you.
I want you to be okay.
I want you to be happy.
I want to be happy.
I want to be in your arms.
I want to sing to you.
I want you to sing to me.
I want to talk to you about my problems.
I want to be there for you.
I want you to push me on the swings.
I want you to write a song for me.
I want to show you the songs I've wrote for you.
I want to hold your hand.
I want to run in fields with you, filled with flowers.
I want to take silly pictures with you.
I want to be over this depression that you're causing me.
I want you to show me all the places you've been.
I want you to teach me how to smile.
I want you to take my breath away.
I want you to drive me around for hours, just talking.
I want you to love me.
I want you to love me, for me.
I want you to share with me all the things you've experienced.
I want you to call me just to hear my voice.
I want you to know that I'd do anything for you.
I want to show you what a real highschool football game is like.
I want to cry on your shoulder.
I want to have inside jokes with you and your friends.
I want to look you in the eyes.
I want to run away with you, to a place where no one could make fun of us.
I want to be the one you get up for in the mornings.
I want you to dance with me in the rain.
I want to wear your hoodie.
I want to know that you won't push me to do things I'm not ready for, because I know you wouldn't.




I want so many things.

But I want to stop wanting.

I want to start giving.


Where ever you are, I want you.

The Circle of Life

I just watched this video on Marlee's MySpace, where My Favorite Highway was singing that song "Circle of Life" from The Lion King. It was pretty funny.

Anyways, I've been thinking alot lately. About random things. When I think, it's hard for me to tell a person other than my piano, my guitar, or just no one in particular- like this blog. Considering no one really reads it anyways, it's helpful to me whenever I need to let out what I'm thinking.

Right now, though, I'm going to go and do something and try to, for once, stop thinking and just do whatever. It probably isn't going to happen, but it's worth a shot.

I miss Alora.
I miss Marlee.
I miss Amanda.
I miss Juliann.
and I miss someone else, who's name I won't mention.

I'll write more later.

XOXO, Emily Love


P.S.- I don't know where you are or who you're with, and yes, that kills me. But I love you, so much, and I want you to be happy- I just want you to be the one I'm waiting on, and for me to be the one you're waiting on.

Do You Feel?

THAT MUSIC VIDEO IS AMAZING! "Do You Feel?" by The Rocket Summer, go check it out!!! MATT THIESSEN IS IN IT!!! Yayuh!

I'm waiting on pictures to upload onto my MySpace. DUDE, it is FREEZING in here. I'm going to go get a sweatshirt, be right back.


Okay, I'm back. But I didn't get a sweatshirt. I'm just gonna stick it out until I finally decide to lay down and go to sleep under the covers. I'm punishing myself by freezing myself until I'm forced to go under the covers. Hahaha.

Let's see.... let's review today.

I woke up, and went to school. So exciting, I know.

First period, Honors Biology, we had a test. I know I missed a few, but I think I did at least decent on it. Let's just say I'm positive that I passed.

Second period, CP Civics & Economics, we also had a test. We reviewed for 75% of class time though. The last 15% was actual test time. I'm making a 95 in there currently.

Third period, Theatre Arts II, we read and watched some more of "The Miracle Worker" and then played a game called Big Booty. Hahaha, it was pretty fun, but it was really hard.

Fourth period, Journalism/Yearbook, I charged my phone and made a Player/Coach Questionnaire for the JV football team. That was about it.

After school I went to Akito's. YUMMY!

Now I'm here, and I still haven't finished my drama project, so I need to go.

Write more tomorrow, or, as soon as I can.

XOXO, Emily Love

I miss Cornerstone, badly.

I'm printing off pictures from Cornerstone '08 for my Theatre Arts II project, and it's really making me want to go back there right this very second. I can't wait 'til next year's Cornerstone<3

I'm only at my dad's tonight because I have to use my laptop to print off pictures.

I don't really know what to say. School's going pretty good I guess, but that's boring crap. Oh well, I'm telling about it anyways. I'm making a 95 in CP Civics, and I think I did decent on my Honors Biology test today. Journalism is awesome, because all we do is just chill out in there. We can do pretty much whatever we want, I could even get on and blog. I charged my phone in that class today. Hahaha, it was pretty sweet.

But then again, we do alot of stuff in that class. Like, we have deadlines and assignments, like a real journalist would have. And I still need to sell more ads, I only have ten more days before that deadline. Better get on that...

I miss Alora! She's in Mississippi right now, and I hope she's having an amazing time. I'm praying for her and her aunt right now, who has cancer. I wish her the best because that's what she deserves, and I love her so much, I don't want her to go through the hurt of losing someone....

I'll blog more later.
As soon as I come up with some nifty stuff to say.
;D

XOXO, Emily Love

On the outside looking in...

It's a Saturday afternoon, 1:26 PM. And where am I? At home, sitting here, depressed.

Long story.

More later.


"You don't know how it feels, to be outside the crowd. You don't know what it's like to be left out. And you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend; on the outside looking in. If you could read my mind, you might see more of me than meets the eye. And you've been all wrong, not who you think I am. You've never given me a chance. You don't know how it feels to be outside the crowd. You don't know what it's like to be left out. And you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend; on the outside looking in. I'm tired of staying at home, I'm bored and all alone. I'm sick of wasting all my time. You don't know how it feels, to be outside the crowd. You don't know what it's like to be left out. And you don't know it feels to be your own best friend; on the outside looking in."

The sun always promises a new day.

Yes, it's true. The sun does always promise a new day. Thus the meaning of my middle name: Dawn.

I'm completely worn out, exhausted to the core. Seriously. I'm not going to say much, because:

1) I have a lot on my mind and I'm confused.
2) I'm super tired.

Tonight I felt lame, because it was a Friday night and I didn't get to go to Allen's party and my best friend was with another friend of mine. But whatever, it's all good. My daddy took me & my brothers to Olive Garden, aka my favorite restaurant EVER! It was delicious, and I definitely brought some home.

Then we went to Blockbuster and rented some movies, because we were going to go see a movie but we missed it because the wait for Olive Garden was pretty long. Like 45 minutes or something. Anyways, at Blockbuster, I saw this reallllllly hot guy from my school. And he said hey to me!!!

I was excited.
It pretty much made my day, considering the majority of my day SUCKED.

Oh well, like I said, the sun always promises a new day.

I'll write more tomorrow.

XOXO, Emily Love

P.S.- I freaking love Alora Danin Mize, better known to me as Rae. She's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. She's always there for me, and I just wanted to let everyone know how much I adore her. I'm finding out who my true and best friends are, and the one I am totally sure of is her. Thanks for being there for me when I need you, I love you Rae (:

4th period!

That's where I am right now, sitting in fourth period. I'm supposed to be working on a design layout for a page in the yearbook, but I already finished mine. I really like this class. There's only nine of us, so we all just chill out in here and run errands and stuff. Right now we're all just kind of doing our own thing, and we're deciding on the design of our t-shirts for yearbook staff, and telling Mrs. Slaughter what size we want. I got a Youth L, because I want mine to be kind of tightish....

Haha, anyways, I better get off here before Mrs. Slaughter comes over here and scolds me, hahaha. I don't think she really cares that much...

It's 2:21 (PM) and the bell rings to get out of school at 3:05. So there's about 40 or so minutes left, I think?

Anyways, I'll write more later.

XOXO, Emily Love

"Emily, paint me softly

'cause I wanna' see, a better side of me"....; you should check out that song. It's called 'Emily' by Winn Galloway. Amazing doesn't even begin to describe it. And no, not because it's title is my name.

Anyways, I haven't written in a long time. Sorry for anyone that actually cares, haha. A few things have happened since I last wrote, not tootoo much though.

Well, school started. YAY!? Haha. It's going pretty good actually, until tonight struck me with it's unpreventable disaster. Well, I guess it was preventable, I don't know. Friendship problems. But I honestly am sick of talking about it, we'll see what happens and save that for another night.

Let's see... what else is new? Oh, Marlee has a boyfriend named Bryant now. He's pretty chill.

Well, tonight my dad got me new headphones for my iPod, which I needed BADLY. Considering one of mine didn't even work and they were plastic. Haha, so I was pretty excited about that. I use them on the bus everyday, because I love just chilling out and looking out the windows while I'm listening to music on the bus. It's pretty stress-relieving, I've come to find out.

OH MY GOSH! MARLEE JUST TEXTED ME AND TOLD ME HER DAD SAID ME AND HER CAN'T GET TOGETHER AT ALL FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH!

I. Am. Freaking. Out. Seriously.

I'll write later.
I'm in shock right now.

XOXO, Emily Love

This is the part of my life that no one wants to hear about.

I'm having a breakdown.
I miss him so much...

but he's so far away, and so unattainable it's sickening. I listened to his voice, and I was bawling so badly that I literally could not breathe.

What is wrong with me?


I'm home all alone, hence the reason I feel completely alone. My brothers are spending the night at the Kauffman's again, and Daddy had to go to work- again. Before he left he asked me if I was okay, and if I'd be okay while he's gone, and of course I said "yes" like I always do. But I wanted so badly to run into his arms and squeeze him again like a little girl. I miss him so badly, because I don't get to see him hardly ever anymore. When I'm at my mom's every other week I don't get to see him all of that week, and then when I am at his house he's always working to make up for bills that we can't pay.
I'm scared of being a disappointment to him. I don't want to tell him that I get depressed alot, because I want to look like I have it all together for him and my little brothers. But I don't have it all together. At all. I'm sick of pretending like I do.
How can I be strong for other people when I can't even be strong for myself? I don't want to be a weak person either, but I'm just so tired of it all.

Back to him- I miss him terribly and I love him dearly. But he's a secret, because if people found out they would think I was insane. Or they would think that I don't really love him- but they don't know the half of it. Like how I can never get to sleep, because I'm always up thinking about him. Or how something always brings me back to him, when I'm trying so hard to let go.

Last night at the football game, I saw an ex-boyfriend. He's supposed to be moving schools this year, so I was suprised to see him there. It hurts to see him, because before we dated we were best friends. Really, really close. But I never loved him. I was just scared of hurting him, so I dated him. I realize now how wrong that was, because I ended up hurting him. Either way he would've been hurt. I was young, how was I supposed to know what to do?

But being young is no excuse anymore- because I'm not really all that young anymore.


I just miss being friends with him. Now he won't even talk to me.

He hangs out with the "popular" kids. I used to be one of those. Now? Not so much. And I really don't care about being popular- I just hate popularity altogether. The way all those kids ONLY hang out with each other ALL the time, and how they look at me- It really hurts. Like they're better than me. I guess they could typically be better off than me, emotionally, physically and probably finacially; but I just don't think it's necessary to feel inferior to them. Right?

Not one of them cares whether I have problems or not. I act all bubbly and hyper at games, and don't get me wrong- I'm a fun person and all- but lately it's usually been an act. I'm a very bubbly person, but this year has just been so hard.

I tell myself to always remember there's someone that's got it worse. Even when it feels like there is no way that could be possible, it is.

I'm just so sick of telling everyone it's okay, when it's really NOT.

I can't wait to truly be myself again- to be the bubbly and energetic Emily. I need to find myself. But finding myself is alot harder than it looks- there is a million pieces to me. I'll find her someday, until then.... I'll write more blogs in hopes of by spilling my guts to y'all, I will find me.

More later.
Sorry to fill you in on my depression-filled hidden self.

XOXO, Emily Love

Basically last day of summer is today,

because tomorrow is Sunday, and it doesn't really count because I'll be at church and then lunch with the family and then pretty much taking a shower, picking out my outfit, doing my hair, and going to sleep- then waking up and going to school.

Marlee just left. She spent the night after the first Foard (my highschool) football game of the season last night. It was pretty chill because I got to see like, everyone, from our school.

Yesterday me and Daddy spent the majority of the day together. He took me to sell ads, and I sold one or two, and the rest are "maybe's", which means at least three or four of them will more than likely buy at least the cheapest ad. We went to this place called 'Pleaser's' downtown, and I got a cheeseburger. Well, I wasn't thinking about it being a family-owned good ole' Southern restaurant, because at McDonald's I get "everything" on my cheeseburger (cheese, pickle, ketchup, mustard, onion). They gave me the cheeseburger, and as a true Southerner I felt so stupid, because my "all-the-way cheeseburger" had cole slaw and everything slapped on there, it was oozing with the stuff. I couldn't even get it in my mouth and I ended up throwing away 75% of it. So tip for all of y'all people up north: Remember that in the South when you ask for everything, you get EVERYTHING.

After four, Daddy and I went grocery shopping and then went to Sally's Beauty and got my waver. I was super stoked, and I did my hair for the game. I got alot of compliments on it, but I felt like my face looked horrible- even if my hair did look sort of pretty.

I'm watching 'Full House' now. Well, it's on commercial, but you know. I love that show so much, it's so cute. (:

I don't really have anything to do all day. I think I'll call Ashley or Samantha and Megan and see if they want to hang. Maybe not, because me and Marlee were talking about going to see 'The Rocker' tonight, since it's our last night of summer where we can actually not go to sleep and get by with it. Tomorrow I've gotta hit the sack at at least 9.

I'll blog later, probably.

XOXO, Emily Love

Dang these sleepless nights!

Yeah, it's 4:35 A.M., and I'm still up doing absolutely nothing. Well, that's not completely true, I'm downloading some songs onto my iPod. Paramore, Forever The Sickest Kids, and The Cure are among the artists that are beginning to pile up on my list of downloading songs on LimeWire. I'm not sure what you're opinion is on using LimeWire, but I apologize if you think it's wrong. I really can't afford to pay $1 per song that I want though. Music is my go-to for every situation, so that means I'd be paying a buttload of dollars.

Tomorrow- well, today, since it's past midnight- I really need to sell some ads for journalism class. But, like I said in my previous post, I really hate selling things to people. I wouldn't mind being in commercials, ha, but that's a different story. I just hate asking people for money, it just feels so.... questionably rude. Maybe it's just me.

I really miss talking to Alora. She sent me a message on MySpace today, and told me she's grounded from her laptop and cellphone. Quite depressing, really. I talk to her everyday, so it's not exactly the greatest thing to happen to me today. Well, for the record, I love Alora and can't wait until she and I can have our crazy cool conversations again.

ALL THREE of my brothers fell asleep on my bedroom floor. And one keeps talking in his sleep, hahahaha. It's pretty hilarious.

Ahh, I don't know what else to say. Hayley Williams is amazing, no matter how random that was. She's such an inspiration. She has so much depth to her, and wisdom, and not to mention she's gorgeous. It's extremely hard not to be unhealthily jealous of her. But I love her music, and her sense of style, and everything. Well I guess it's not "her" music, I love Paramore's music. The guys in the band are awesome too.

I need to go find my remote for my tv...
and I should lay down and watch some reruns or something.
Too late to go to sleep now, then I won't wake up and drag myself out of bed until past noon.
That's not acceptable, so when the sun's up and dad's gone to work, I'll go get me some breakfast.

(:

Talk to y'all later on today probably.

XOXO, Emily Love

Riot! Riot! Riot!

Paramore seriously sings my life; it's almost kind of creepy! Haha, nahh, I love them soooooooooooo much. They're amazing, most definitely one of my favorite favorite bands.


Today was kind of rough. My best guy friend, Jordan, is leaving tomorrow for college, so me, Marlee, Monica, Brittney, and Heather went out to eat at Akito's with him. Then we all walked to Food Lion and Dollar General, haha. My feet are sore now, but it was worth it. I never actually said the word 'goodbye' to him... I was too scared too. I'm going to miss him so much. I love you Jordan! <3

I was going to spend the night with Marlee, but my dad wouldn't let me because I need to sell ads for journalism. Ew, gag me. I hate selling stuff, I feel so rude. Like I'm intruding on someone's life and asking for money, haha. But I have to suck it up and do it if I want a good grade. Which I do.

Speaking of that, I can't wait for school to start! I went to Target tonight with my family (minus my mom) and got the last of the school supplies I needed. Oh, and a wallet/clutch and dress, which I'm thinking I might wear on the first day. That's definitely not for sure though, so I don't know. Not that you care or anything, haha.

I get my braces off in like two months or so! I'm STOKED. All these people are getting theirs off and I'm getting jealous.
:p


I didn't get to see Teddy today. I know, I know- so sad. I'm determined to see him tomorrow though, so no worries!


I should go to sleep.
I'll write tomorrow.

XOXO, Emily Love

Generic cookies

are actually really good! Well, at least, the kind I just ate. Normally, not so much. My dad is like King Generic Cookie Shopper; no lie.

TOMORROW 'THE ROCKER' COMES OUT! Which means I get to see Teddy Geiger on a big, fat screen for almost two whole hours! WOOHOO! :D

Me, Marlee, and my guy best friend Jordan are going to eat at Akito's at 6 tomorrow, and then going to see 'The Rocker' at 7. I'm stoked. Plus, I haven't seen Jordan since he went off to college.
Oh, and I'm talking to Jordan on AIM right now. (:

I don't know what else to talk about really...
I'm hungry, I might blog later.

XOXO, Emily Love

Teddy Geiger is my angel.

Yes, he is. He's angelic, and he's all mine. Hahaha, too bad he's dating that one chick who's in that new movie 'The Rocker' with him. I'm listening to him right now though.

The Hills new season premiere comes on in 52 minutes! I'm SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUSLY excited for it.
:D

I don't have much to write about. Well, I do, I guess. I mean, school starts this coming Monday. I'm pretty excited about that. There's a football game Friday night, and I'm most definitely excited for that. I have an orthodontist appointment at 1:00 tomorrow, and I'm actually excited for that too, as long as it's closer to getting these stupid braces off. My waver should be here in like, two more days. I'm going to sell ads tomorrow for journalism class. And, I think that's about it. Oh, and my dad's making cheesecake, which I'm totally stoked about.

I wanted to watch The Hills with Marlee, my best friend, but she brought me home from the mall and her parents said we couldn't get together again tonight. So that sucks. But she'll call during all the commercial breaks anyways.

I'm almost finished with one of the two books I have to read for Honors English II, so I should probably go finish the last chapter or so before The Hills comes on.

I might blog a little after the show, before I go to bed.

XOXO, Emily Love


P.S.- I know it's a little late, but Happy Birthday. I love you so much.

The Hills tomorrow!

Yeah, I'm super stoked about 'The Hills' new season premiere tomorrow night at 10 PM. That show is so addicting, it's not even funny. I watched 'The Hills Top 10 Moments' and 'The Hills: Behind the Scenes' today, like, all day. Until I went to the Crawdad's minor league baseball game with my dad, brothers, and their friend, Michael.

The game was pretty fun, but their funnel cakes suck. I had one bite of my dad's and almost gagged, but my pretzel was pretty good. A tad too salty, but still way better than the funnel cake.

I came home and Marlee came over to spend the night. We talked about school starting, and just chilled out. She's asleep on my bed now. It's 3:59 A.M., and I'm so mad at myself, because I should most definitely be in bed, because I need to be training myself to get up for school this coming Monday morning.

Speaking of school, I'm getting nervous. Don't get me wrong, I'm still totally excited, but my nerves are starting to kick in. I'm in journalism fourth period of first semester, and I'm supposed to sell ads, which I haven't done yet! I'm afraid I won't sell any, and I'll get in trouble. Me and Makenzie are supposed to go sell them together Tuesday, and Marlee promised to help me tomorrow. So, I'm hoping it'll all work out.

My dad bought me a waver on eBay today! I'm so pumped about using it. I've used Marlee's, and I really love my hair waved like that. Well, technically I bought the waver, but you know, my dad put in his credit card number. I'm just giving him cash. But hey, I really wanted one, and they don't make them anymore, and it was only $10! It should be here within the next couple of days. Here's what my hair looks like waved: http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t74/southernbelle14/PICT0361.jpg



I'll blog more tomorrow, I'm getting pretty tired.

XOXO, Emily Love

I want cheesecake!

Hi y'all! Hope your day's going a little better than mine, even though, honestly, it hasn't been all that bad. Well, besides the fact that my dad prolonged my grounding until the end of today which means I couldn't go see my best friend, or my other guy best friend Jordan, who's going off to college in a week, and the fact that I'm going to my mom's tomorrow after church... it's been a fairly decent day.

At least I got a new pair of Converse! Black. I swear, they're an obsession to me now. And they were only $20 at Marshall's! And no, I'm not embarassed that that's a discount store. That just means I can buy more Converse than planned.

I also got school supplies. I'm kind of ashamed to admit this, but I'm ready for school to start! It starts on August 25th, and today's the 9th. 3 more days until.... well, nevermind.

My dad made cheesecake (and I swear just to taunt me because he knows how much I love it), but it's for our neighbor's party tonight. Which I won't be going to. Which means Emily will not be getting cheesecake. At least not tonight.

I've got to go unload MORE dishes out of the dishwasher and put MORE in. How many dishes can one family use in one day? Geez.

I'll try to blog later, but I don't know.

XOXO, Emily Love

P.S. Where ever you are.... I just want you to know, I couldn't sleep last night, because of you. And it's not the first time this has happened. I'm not saying this is a good or bad thing, but I know what the doctor would tell me about losing sleep... I love you.

Oats & More.

That would be the name of the cereal I'm now chewing on. It's 6:26 A.M., and I just woke up. At least we now all know that my new alarm clock is at least capable of waking me up, which, believe me, is an incredible feat.

The sunrise really takes my breath away.... even if it is viewed through a really dirty window downstairs in the kitchen. That reminds me to clean that one today, while I'm at it. But back to the sunsrise: it's absolutely gorgeous. Especially from our house. I don't say that to brag, but, seriously, the way it kisses the treetops, and glows over the road below it from my room is stunning; and down here it comes up over all of our 7 acres in the back.

Today my dad and three little brothers- Laban, Joshua, & Josiah- got tickets to the Panthers/Colts NFL game in Charlotte. My dad wants to take them out on some sort of guy-bonding trip thing, so I'll be here at home, talking to y'all.

I'm gonna finish up breakfast and then head upstairs to get dressed. Even though I'll be lugging this with me, I think I'll just blog a little later today.

Oh, and if you've never just sat and watched the sunrise (or set)- you're insane. You need to!

XOXO, Emily Love

Finally not grounded!

Yeah, I was grounded the last two days. The reason? I didn't clean up the mess my friends made at my sleepover I mentioned the last time I blogged. Yeah, I know, unfair, but I dealt with it.

So, all I've done for two days straight is clean. At least our house looks spotless.

I'm really glad to have my laptop back though. My keyboard is getting fixed tonight, and you have no idea how stoked I am about that! I missed my baby. Yes, my keyboard is my baby. My guitar is my other baby. Hahaha.

I'm really worried about one of my good friends Amy Jo. She just logged on AIM about half an hour ago and shared with me an incident that happened to her while I've been off the computer, and I'm scared for her. I hope she's okay, and I hope everything works out.

Well, I'm going to go unload the dishwasher. Maybe as long as I keep this up I won't ever be grounded again.... haha, I know, highly unlikely, but it's not impossible! So, I'll blog later tonight, or try to. I think my dad's taking my laptop again so that I'll get to sleep, but I get it back in the morning. I need to catch up on sleep anyways- I woke up last night in the middle of the night, about 1:30 A.M., and layed there, considering I couldn't get on here or turn my tv on. I listened to music, but there was just something I couldn't get off of my mind. So, sleep can only do me good with school starting pretty soon.

Oh, and for all you bloggers out there, use Neutrogena! It's been making my face softer.

XOXO, Emily Love

TRL and sleepovers.

Hey guys, my name's Emily. I started this blog to kind of just let my feelings out on something besides my piano or guitar, although I don't think either one of those is going to get any less use now that I have this. Anyways, I'm not too sure what this is all about yet, so bear with me.

Yesterday I went bowling & putt-putting with my youth group, and I brought my best friend Marlee, and my friend Andrea along. It was pretty fun, but it was burning up outside! They came back to my house for a sleepover, and it started out HORRIBLE. My three little brothers wouldn't leave us alone for anything, and asking them nicely was making no difference at all, as my dad claimed it would. But, it ended up being pretty fun... but, I've been up ALL night, and I'm super tired. Too bad Andrea's asleep on my bed.

Marlee's about to leave, because she wants to go home to sleep. I don't really understand that, considering she could sleep here and it's only 11:51 A.M., but I guess it's whatever she wants to do.

I really need to start reading my books for Honors English II; school starts August 25th, and today's August 6th. I also wanted to start that new book I bought at Target the other day, 'The Truth About Forever', by Sarah Dessen (who is one of my favorite authors).

I might be starting to bore you, but this is really just to kill my boredom, and to let me ramble as much as I want to. Later on tonight we have Water Wars for youth, but I don't think I want to go. I might, but I'm so tired, I think I might just catch up on some sleep.

Anyways, I've got some chores to do...
I'll blog a little later, possibly?

XOXO, Emily Love