I haven't written on here in at least three months. I feel as if I never have anything important to say anymore, but if you would still like to read about my life, go here:

www.reveillezmonesprit.tumblr.com

I'm in the midst of a thunderstorm in Washington, Indiana currently.. and it is causing me to become a tad inspired to jot down a few things. I also am typing away on my longlost friend, Dear Laptop, and I am very excited to be reunited with this hunk of technology. A lot has been going on in my life, and although you may be apathetic towards these things.. for my own sake and sanity, I'm going to ramble on and on about these endless topics.

This summer has been a slow progression for me, towards new heights of maturity and deeper depths of the unknown. Musically, I have started up a site and recorded a song. I'm so thrilled to have had that opportunity and can not wait to see where God is taking me with all of this. I find no way better to express myself than through music, and I am so grateful that God has given me this passion for lyrics and melody. My prayer is to be able to keep getting better and always know that there is room to improve.

I have developed relationships with awesome people, and I've watched my relationships with others fade. I'm in a very peculiar stage in my life, and I feel that the people I thought were my closest friends have found other people to conquer the world with. It's been difficult for me, but I'm trying to branch out and hold onto the only stable thing in my life.. Jesus Christ. I'm trying to hang on to what little I have left, and I'm beginning to realize what I feel is worth the salvage. Sometimes what little you have can make a huge difference in your life. I have trouble with relating to people, and I feel that is holding me back from a lot. I've learned to embrace it though, because it is beyond my control. I want to make sure that the ones whom I love know that I love and appreciate them. I have few good friends, but few is so much more than none, and I want to grow closer with them instead of sitting on the sidelines and watching them walk away. This is up to me. If I do all that I can, I will feel accomplished. Even if it ends up with no companionship.

I've been doing devotions every night, and it has opened my eyes to many things.

I believe I'm ready for this new school year. Although I pictured myself to be starting my junior year of high school in a much different light, I want to take the good and the bad and make do with what I have. There are many things to give thanks for, it's just not always easy to see them plainly when you are blindfolded by pain and neglect. I have challenged myself to see past the obvious and look for things that are also clear, but I have been refusing to see for a long time. Until now.

I'm breathing in a new mentality.

I'm leaving Indiana on Sunday, and I don't want to. I feel alive here. And even when I'm feeling down, while I'm here, hope never seems too far away. I just want to make sure that this feeling of being ready for the world gets packed up along with all of my other stuff in my suitcases. When I get back, I want to make the rest of this summer last. I want to be strong and do what's best. This life is my only chance to show what I'm here for. This life is only lived once, and I would never want to miss that. I'm getting off the ground and I'm living. I am alive.

You know what is truly beautiful? The flaws of people. Flaws are so beautiful to me, because they are what makes up true love. You know you truly love someone when you love everything about them, so without flaws there would be no absolute love. For instance, Jesus Christ. He's given up his life for us because of our sins . Sins are the ultimate flaws. My goal from now is to find the beauty in everything. I want to love like Jesus loved. I want to reach out for the truth, not run from it.

I am determined to make something out of today. I don't have to do anything extravagant, but I want to do something that makes me feel alive. God's creation is so beautiful. I want to embrace it. I can't embrace it while I'm stuck in this rut. Time to get up. Time to go out. Life is just outside these doors.