at night, and I should be asleep. Instead, I'll fill you in on a few things. Even though it almost terrifies me that people actually read my blog, because they're seeing me, in raw form. They probably think I'm completely out of my mind, and weird.
The situation with my best friend is only getting worse. I'm not going to say anything more, because I don't want to make something permanent that doesn't have to be.
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 WAS AMAZING! Ahhhhhhhh! It was so corny, but that's what made it the best movie ever.
:P
It was so funny- Zac Efron's shirt was slowly rising up over his abs as he pulled his shirt off, and every single girl in the crowd was going "AHHHHH" as he did. Ahahahah.
Alora said her mom is going to call my dad tomorrow night so that they can talk about her coming in December. I'm BEYOND excited for that! It'll be the best month ever, just because of that. I love you, Alora!
TWILIGHT THE MOVIE COMES OUT IN 24 DAYS! :D :D :D
Okay, I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow after school I have church, which I'm physched for. Jesus Christ is amazing, and I can't wait to go worship Him in our new church buildng. Me and Samantha were supposed to chill, but she has to help her mom clean some office, so we can't. But I think we're doing something Friday for Halloween, so that'll make up for it.
Goodnight.
XOXO, Emily Love
P.S.- Somehow, today, I missed you extra terribly. I don't know how that's possible, but apparently it is.
"I remember when goodbyes meant only until tomorrow..."
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Friday!
It's Friday, baby! What does that mean!? HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3! Hahaha, gosh, I'm a dork. I really don't care though- I want to see it. Tonight was supposed to be Homecoming, but it got cancelled because it's raining. So I'm trying to get some people, or at least just one person, to come see "High School Musical 3: Senior Year" with me.
I really need to go clean my room though. And I'm super hungry!
I'll blog later.
Oh, and about my two blogs last night- I'm not telling you to ignore them, I'm just saying that things might possibly be resolved. But that's always how it starts out, so maybe this time it's really over...
I don't know.
XOXO, Emily Love
"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you. I'd been broken beyond repair." -from 'Twilight'
I really need to go clean my room though. And I'm super hungry!
I'll blog later.
Oh, and about my two blogs last night- I'm not telling you to ignore them, I'm just saying that things might possibly be resolved. But that's always how it starts out, so maybe this time it's really over...
I don't know.
XOXO, Emily Love
"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you. I'd been broken beyond repair." -from 'Twilight'
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Let's take a trip down Memory Lane, shall we?
I remember when I first met you. I remember how cool I thought you were, and how you hated me because I was "the quiet, shy girl who stole your best friend". But that never mattered to us, that you hated me, because it all worked out and we became best friends.
I remember how you helped me come out of my shell, helped me become me.
I remember all the nights we stayed up giggling and talking about boys, and our A2M dreams.
I remember how your mom always used to come downstairs at least twice to tell us to shut up and go to sleep. I remember your old room. I remember Kitty.
I remember going to Florida with you, and my family. I remember we cried while we listened to "Why Don't You Kiss Her?" by Jesse McCartney, sitting outside by the pool at my aunt's house. I remember that the next day my case to that CD fell out the window of the car, and we stopped- right there on the highway- to go get it.
I remember we used to write notes to each other everyday. I remember we used to share a locker. I remember all the songs I've written about you.
I remember going to that geyser with you and walking around it, and then down to the creek where your dad took pictures of us holding hands while we jumped rocks.
I remember crying with you, so many times, just hugging you. Somehow, I could tell exactly what you wanted to say through your eyes. We had a bond like no one else. I remember that when I hugged you, everything felt okay.
I remember how we promised each other we would always be best friends. Always.
I remember laying on the trampoline with you and looking at the stars.
I remember October 15, 2007. I remember the night before, when we were getting ready. I remember you did my hair for me. You were always so good at that. I remember us writing letters to them, together. I remember the car ride down there, when we stopped at McDonald's and saw those girls who were going to the same place. I remember walking in, how we were the only two jumping and yelling, and all excited. I remember seeing their dad and little brother. I remember the way it felt whenever he looked at me. I remember looking at you, treasuring that moment forever. I remember riding the farris wheel afterwards with you, and waiting for them forever. But they never came.
I remember crying as we left, holding hands, and your mom was mad because she had to get home and go to work the next morning. I remember how we were almost dead silent on the car ride home, until we finally fell asleep.
I remember December 10, 2007. I remember eating at Olive Garden the night before, and how the waitress told us that we better not forget her when A2M became famous. I remember going back to the hotel. I remember going to the mall, but it was closed, so we went back the next day. I remember buying my outfit for that night. I remember seeing all those chorus students in Starbucks, and we thought they were laughing at us. I remember going to the concert, and there was a limo right by the sidewalk, and we thought it was them, so we put our empty coffee cups on our heads and we were taking pictures, laughing so hard. I remember signing up for the guitar. I remember looking through the window, where we saw where the meet and greets would be, and Ballyn and Kristen were right beside us. I remember going in and finding out that our seats sucked, so we had Kristen stall and we snuck down there to be closer to them. I remember bawling and falling to the ground and looking right at you, holding your hand. I remember telling each other they were just normal people. I remember running to the bathroom and falling to the ground. I couldn't get ahold of myself. I remember sneaking back to the back of the building with you. Oh, I remember that so vividly. I remember how you told the guy that you thought your dad parked back there. I remember those girls up in the window, pointing down at us. I remember the shadows in the bus. Those shadows that were so very, very important to us.
I remember it was pretty cold. I remember meeting that guy who was kind of weird but so nice. I remember waiting on them forever. But again, they never came.
I remember going home, and the girls in the car were blasting their music and my dad yelled out and told them that we were their girls, not them. I remember on the way there you had wrote me this note on the computer about us being best friends, and I still have that saved. I remember going to Sam's before the concert, and you took a picture of me in the parking lot. I remember how I knew, or I thought I knew, that we would be best friends forever.
I remember how that was and always will be the best night of my life.
I remember everything.
Everything. This isn't even half of our memories. This isn't even 1/4.
And I won't forget.
Ever.
Now, everything's changing. Everything and everyone is against us. Are we going to let all of this tear us apart?
If we do let that happen, I won't forget. And as I sit here and cry while I write this, I'm not forgetting. I'm remembering. I'll never even try to forget.
You have been the biggest part of my life, besides God. I couldn't explain to you what you mean to me.
And if this is the end....
I just want you to know I love you, and thank you, for everything.
I remember how you helped me come out of my shell, helped me become me.
I remember all the nights we stayed up giggling and talking about boys, and our A2M dreams.
I remember how your mom always used to come downstairs at least twice to tell us to shut up and go to sleep. I remember your old room. I remember Kitty.
I remember going to Florida with you, and my family. I remember we cried while we listened to "Why Don't You Kiss Her?" by Jesse McCartney, sitting outside by the pool at my aunt's house. I remember that the next day my case to that CD fell out the window of the car, and we stopped- right there on the highway- to go get it.
I remember we used to write notes to each other everyday. I remember we used to share a locker. I remember all the songs I've written about you.
I remember going to that geyser with you and walking around it, and then down to the creek where your dad took pictures of us holding hands while we jumped rocks.
I remember crying with you, so many times, just hugging you. Somehow, I could tell exactly what you wanted to say through your eyes. We had a bond like no one else. I remember that when I hugged you, everything felt okay.
I remember how we promised each other we would always be best friends. Always.
I remember laying on the trampoline with you and looking at the stars.
I remember October 15, 2007. I remember the night before, when we were getting ready. I remember you did my hair for me. You were always so good at that. I remember us writing letters to them, together. I remember the car ride down there, when we stopped at McDonald's and saw those girls who were going to the same place. I remember walking in, how we were the only two jumping and yelling, and all excited. I remember seeing their dad and little brother. I remember the way it felt whenever he looked at me. I remember looking at you, treasuring that moment forever. I remember riding the farris wheel afterwards with you, and waiting for them forever. But they never came.
I remember crying as we left, holding hands, and your mom was mad because she had to get home and go to work the next morning. I remember how we were almost dead silent on the car ride home, until we finally fell asleep.
I remember December 10, 2007. I remember eating at Olive Garden the night before, and how the waitress told us that we better not forget her when A2M became famous. I remember going back to the hotel. I remember going to the mall, but it was closed, so we went back the next day. I remember buying my outfit for that night. I remember seeing all those chorus students in Starbucks, and we thought they were laughing at us. I remember going to the concert, and there was a limo right by the sidewalk, and we thought it was them, so we put our empty coffee cups on our heads and we were taking pictures, laughing so hard. I remember signing up for the guitar. I remember looking through the window, where we saw where the meet and greets would be, and Ballyn and Kristen were right beside us. I remember going in and finding out that our seats sucked, so we had Kristen stall and we snuck down there to be closer to them. I remember bawling and falling to the ground and looking right at you, holding your hand. I remember telling each other they were just normal people. I remember running to the bathroom and falling to the ground. I couldn't get ahold of myself. I remember sneaking back to the back of the building with you. Oh, I remember that so vividly. I remember how you told the guy that you thought your dad parked back there. I remember those girls up in the window, pointing down at us. I remember the shadows in the bus. Those shadows that were so very, very important to us.
I remember it was pretty cold. I remember meeting that guy who was kind of weird but so nice. I remember waiting on them forever. But again, they never came.
I remember going home, and the girls in the car were blasting their music and my dad yelled out and told them that we were their girls, not them. I remember on the way there you had wrote me this note on the computer about us being best friends, and I still have that saved. I remember going to Sam's before the concert, and you took a picture of me in the parking lot. I remember how I knew, or I thought I knew, that we would be best friends forever.
I remember how that was and always will be the best night of my life.
I remember everything.
Everything. This isn't even half of our memories. This isn't even 1/4.
And I won't forget.
Ever.
Now, everything's changing. Everything and everyone is against us. Are we going to let all of this tear us apart?
If we do let that happen, I won't forget. And as I sit here and cry while I write this, I'm not forgetting. I'm remembering. I'll never even try to forget.
You have been the biggest part of my life, besides God. I couldn't explain to you what you mean to me.
And if this is the end....
I just want you to know I love you, and thank you, for everything.
I miss you,
terribly. Yes, I read your blog.
I did try and talk to you. But you're always with or talking to him, and that's fine. I understand that you need him, and he needs you- and I couldn't be happier for y'all, seriously. I stopped trying to talk to you, because I felt like you didn't have time for me anymore.
You don't want a best friend anymore?
I guess I'll be gone now....
"People change and promises are broken."
10/15/07 & 12/10/07
I did try and talk to you. But you're always with or talking to him, and that's fine. I understand that you need him, and he needs you- and I couldn't be happier for y'all, seriously. I stopped trying to talk to you, because I felt like you didn't have time for me anymore.
You don't want a best friend anymore?
I guess I'll be gone now....
"People change and promises are broken."
10/15/07 & 12/10/07
Peace Out Day, dude
Today was "Peace Out Day" at school for Spirit Week. Tomorrow is Spirit Day, and the sophomores are supposed to all wear orange. So, I need to find something orange to wear for tomorrow!
I did really good on my Honors Biology test today! Haha, random, I know, but I'm pretty proud of myself. It was on meiosis, and I think I only missed like two or so questions.
Marlee wasn't at school today. We've barely talked all week. We talked during class Monday and Tuesday, and that's it....
My mom is off on some trip to Florida with her boyfriend. We're supposed to be with her this week. No other comment relating to that subject, *cough*cough*.
I love The Maine. Just thought I'd say that, they're amazing. I would tell you certain songs to go look up by them, but they're all good. Seriously. I guess if I had to choose one, as hard as that is, I'd probably pick "Into Your Arms". It says "Emily" in that song! Haha, but that's not why I'd choose it- it's just an incredible song.
Tomorrow night I'm going to the football game, it's Homecoming. Well, I think I'm going. My dad better let me! Then I'm either coming home or going to Megan's, I'm not sure which yet. I have Saturday Detention the next morning, because I have too many tardies. Normally I wouldn't be that excited about something as unfortunate as that, but this Saturday, so many of my friends have Saturday Detention! Haha, so it won't be that bad. After that I think I'm going over to Ariel's, and then we're going to hang out all day and then go to the Fall Fest at our church.
Then, Sunday, is our first Sunday as a church body in our brand new church building! I'm SO excited! It was supposed to be last Sunday, but it got changed.
I have this pimple, just ONE, that I reallllly want to get rid of. Hahaha. So, I need to go scrub my face with Neutrogena!
I need to go clean my room and then go to sleep.
XOXO, Emily Love
P.S.- I heard y'all broke up. As horrible as this may be, I'm hoping that's not just a rumor....
"And we both go down together, we'd stay there forever."
I did really good on my Honors Biology test today! Haha, random, I know, but I'm pretty proud of myself. It was on meiosis, and I think I only missed like two or so questions.
Marlee wasn't at school today. We've barely talked all week. We talked during class Monday and Tuesday, and that's it....
My mom is off on some trip to Florida with her boyfriend. We're supposed to be with her this week. No other comment relating to that subject, *cough*cough*.
I love The Maine. Just thought I'd say that, they're amazing. I would tell you certain songs to go look up by them, but they're all good. Seriously. I guess if I had to choose one, as hard as that is, I'd probably pick "Into Your Arms". It says "Emily" in that song! Haha, but that's not why I'd choose it- it's just an incredible song.
Tomorrow night I'm going to the football game, it's Homecoming. Well, I think I'm going. My dad better let me! Then I'm either coming home or going to Megan's, I'm not sure which yet. I have Saturday Detention the next morning, because I have too many tardies. Normally I wouldn't be that excited about something as unfortunate as that, but this Saturday, so many of my friends have Saturday Detention! Haha, so it won't be that bad. After that I think I'm going over to Ariel's, and then we're going to hang out all day and then go to the Fall Fest at our church.
Then, Sunday, is our first Sunday as a church body in our brand new church building! I'm SO excited! It was supposed to be last Sunday, but it got changed.
I have this pimple, just ONE, that I reallllly want to get rid of. Hahaha. So, I need to go scrub my face with Neutrogena!
I need to go clean my room and then go to sleep.
XOXO, Emily Love
P.S.- I heard y'all broke up. As horrible as this may be, I'm hoping that's not just a rumor....
"And we both go down together, we'd stay there forever."
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
If I could be your angel...
It's been awhile since I wrote last. Well, sort of.
Anyways, my life's been... busy. Productive in ways, I guess. I assume you could say that a lot has happened since I last filled you in.
I'm doing alright in school. I'd like to be doing better, honestly, but I guess that just gives me room to improve. I like having a challenge.
I made it into Enoch! I forgot if I told you that already or not, but there you go- I told you again. Haha, I'm just that excited about it (:
"Seussical" was one of the most amazing and rewarding experiences of my life, and I'm not kidding. It made me fall in love with musical theater. Everyone in the cast bonded, and that felt so great- to be surrounded by generally good kids, who all care about each other, no matter what. When you're in theater, you automatically become a family, and I love that. I'm sad it's over... I'm definitely taking Play Production class next year!
I went home with Megan after school today, and we watched The Strangers. It was so scary! I hate scary movies. HATE. Kyle and Jamey came over to watch it with us. Me and Megan decided that tomorrow for Wacky Tacky Day at school we're going to dress alike. Our outfits are quite adorable, and pretty funny. I'll be sure and take a picture or two.
I had this horrible dream last night.... this man was trying to kill me and stuff... I don't even want to talk about it. It was terrible. I woke up scared to death and almost in tears. I wanted my daddy so bad. But I was at my mom's. I've been clingy with my dad lately...
This is for Alora Danin Rae Mize!
I love you with my entire heart. Everytime I look up at the stars, I think of you looking up at them too with me there in Georgia. I'm living for December, and that will be the greatest week of my life when you're down here with me. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't be me, Alora. I'm sorry we haven't talked as much lately, but I promise- that will change. I'm never too busy for you. You mean the world to me, and that's no joke. I LOVE YOU!
I'm so tired. I can't think of anything else I feel like typing out right now.
I'll blog tomorrow.
XOXO, Emily Love
P.S. I would watch as many scary movies with you as you wanted, no matter how badly I hate them.
Your video.... made me cry. "Breathless..."
"If could be your angel.... protect you from the pain....I'll keep you safe from danger.... you'll never hurt again.. I'll be your a-n-g-e-l. I'll be your angel."
Anyways, my life's been... busy. Productive in ways, I guess. I assume you could say that a lot has happened since I last filled you in.
I'm doing alright in school. I'd like to be doing better, honestly, but I guess that just gives me room to improve. I like having a challenge.
I made it into Enoch! I forgot if I told you that already or not, but there you go- I told you again. Haha, I'm just that excited about it (:
"Seussical" was one of the most amazing and rewarding experiences of my life, and I'm not kidding. It made me fall in love with musical theater. Everyone in the cast bonded, and that felt so great- to be surrounded by generally good kids, who all care about each other, no matter what. When you're in theater, you automatically become a family, and I love that. I'm sad it's over... I'm definitely taking Play Production class next year!
I went home with Megan after school today, and we watched The Strangers. It was so scary! I hate scary movies. HATE. Kyle and Jamey came over to watch it with us. Me and Megan decided that tomorrow for Wacky Tacky Day at school we're going to dress alike. Our outfits are quite adorable, and pretty funny. I'll be sure and take a picture or two.
I had this horrible dream last night.... this man was trying to kill me and stuff... I don't even want to talk about it. It was terrible. I woke up scared to death and almost in tears. I wanted my daddy so bad. But I was at my mom's. I've been clingy with my dad lately...
This is for Alora Danin Rae Mize!
I love you with my entire heart. Everytime I look up at the stars, I think of you looking up at them too with me there in Georgia. I'm living for December, and that will be the greatest week of my life when you're down here with me. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't be me, Alora. I'm sorry we haven't talked as much lately, but I promise- that will change. I'm never too busy for you. You mean the world to me, and that's no joke. I LOVE YOU!
I'm so tired. I can't think of anything else I feel like typing out right now.
I'll blog tomorrow.
XOXO, Emily Love
P.S. I would watch as many scary movies with you as you wanted, no matter how badly I hate them.
Your video.... made me cry. "Breathless..."
"If could be your angel.... protect you from the pain....I'll keep you safe from danger.... you'll never hurt again.. I'll be your a-n-g-e-l. I'll be your angel."
Monday, October 13, 2008
Busy Bee
That's what you can call me from now on, "Busy Bee". You'd be telling the truth, that's for sure.
Shall we run through my schedule for the rest of this week?
Tonight I had play practice from 5-9 (P.M.) at the Green Room, so I rode with Chelsea, Davis, Marlee, Kaitlyn, and Candace after school there.
Tomorrow (Tuesday)- School. During school all the sophomores (which would include me) are going on a field trip to the Hickory Metro Convention Center for some kind of Job Festival or whatever. You're supposed to go around to all different sorts of booths and learn more about the career path you're interested in. Anyways, after school, I'm going to the Green Room with Chelsea again. After practice ends at 9 (a full-on dress rehearsal), I'm going home with Marlee and spending the night with her so we can carpool the next morning.
Wednesday- I have to be at the Green Room at 7:30 A.M. (I get excused out of school to be in the play). First performance of "Seussical", which will be for our school classmates. Then, we're picking up Elise and she's going to church with me. Well, youth, that is. This will be our very first night in our new church building and I CANNOT wait!
Thursday- "Seussical" performance.
Friday- "Seussical" performance. Marlee spending the night, possibly.
Saturday- Multiple "Seussical" performances, varying throughout the day. Samantha spending the night, possibly? That's not for sure yet, though.
Sunday- Church at 10:30 (A.M.). CHRIST ALIVE'S FIRST SERVICE AS A CHURCH BODY IN THEIR NEW BUILDING, WOOOOO! :D After church I'm going home with Tina, Jamie, Zack, Josh, and little Deanna and meeting Enoch there to practice. I need to remind myself to bring those clothes from when I was little to Deanna.
I don't think I'll have time to breathe. I hope I can get this all done, and done well!
I need sleep. Goodnight.
XOXO, Emily Love
"You seem so afraid, afraid you'll regret, regret getting closer and connected to me. And I feel like that too, but I'm scared, scared you'll leave while you still feel you can. So I'll just wait and see, so I'll just wait and see, and see... Let our eyes say words that we'll leave unspoken, while we're trying to be careful. And words can be so confusing, while we're trying to be careful. But not too careful. Fear, it has it's place, folded in squares squarely tucked in the back pocket of all minds. And yes, it's reckless to laugh, pointless to decide, just let your world collide with mine. Let's not wait and see...Let our eyes say words that we'll leave unspoken, while we're trying to be careful. And words can be so confusing, while we're trying to be careful. But not too careful. What's the average number of times people feel this way in a lifetime? Let's not waste more time."
Shall we run through my schedule for the rest of this week?
Tonight I had play practice from 5-9 (P.M.) at the Green Room, so I rode with Chelsea, Davis, Marlee, Kaitlyn, and Candace after school there.
Tomorrow (Tuesday)- School. During school all the sophomores (which would include me) are going on a field trip to the Hickory Metro Convention Center for some kind of Job Festival or whatever. You're supposed to go around to all different sorts of booths and learn more about the career path you're interested in. Anyways, after school, I'm going to the Green Room with Chelsea again. After practice ends at 9 (a full-on dress rehearsal), I'm going home with Marlee and spending the night with her so we can carpool the next morning.
Wednesday- I have to be at the Green Room at 7:30 A.M. (I get excused out of school to be in the play). First performance of "Seussical", which will be for our school classmates. Then, we're picking up Elise and she's going to church with me. Well, youth, that is. This will be our very first night in our new church building and I CANNOT wait!
Thursday- "Seussical" performance.
Friday- "Seussical" performance. Marlee spending the night, possibly.
Saturday- Multiple "Seussical" performances, varying throughout the day. Samantha spending the night, possibly? That's not for sure yet, though.
Sunday- Church at 10:30 (A.M.). CHRIST ALIVE'S FIRST SERVICE AS A CHURCH BODY IN THEIR NEW BUILDING, WOOOOO! :D After church I'm going home with Tina, Jamie, Zack, Josh, and little Deanna and meeting Enoch there to practice. I need to remind myself to bring those clothes from when I was little to Deanna.
I don't think I'll have time to breathe. I hope I can get this all done, and done well!
I need sleep. Goodnight.
XOXO, Emily Love
"You seem so afraid, afraid you'll regret, regret getting closer and connected to me. And I feel like that too, but I'm scared, scared you'll leave while you still feel you can. So I'll just wait and see, so I'll just wait and see, and see... Let our eyes say words that we'll leave unspoken, while we're trying to be careful. And words can be so confusing, while we're trying to be careful. But not too careful. Fear, it has it's place, folded in squares squarely tucked in the back pocket of all minds. And yes, it's reckless to laugh, pointless to decide, just let your world collide with mine. Let's not wait and see...Let our eyes say words that we'll leave unspoken, while we're trying to be careful. And words can be so confusing, while we're trying to be careful. But not too careful. What's the average number of times people feel this way in a lifetime? Let's not waste more time."
Sunday, October 12, 2008
ENOCH!
I have some pretty exciting news! Today, after church, I went home with the Herron's (Zack and Josh and their family) and we had another band practice/trial. After we were done they told me that I was now officially their new lead singer! I'm super stoked about it, you have no idea how much this means to me.
:D
This weekend was quite hectic. Friday, after school, I rode home with Marlee and we went to the game later. After the game I spent the night with Samantha. The next morning, me and Samantha went to go get her haircut and then to the Oktoberfest downtown. Then, after the Oktoberfest, I spent the night with Elise. Marlee came later.
I've had fun.
I've learned some new things about some people too...
And I miss Alora! DECEMBER, HURRY UP! Well, it might be November now?! I'm not sure though...
Anyways, I'm so tired. I'll write tomorrow.
XOXO, Emily Love
Genesis 5:24 "And ENOCH walked with God."
:D
This weekend was quite hectic. Friday, after school, I rode home with Marlee and we went to the game later. After the game I spent the night with Samantha. The next morning, me and Samantha went to go get her haircut and then to the Oktoberfest downtown. Then, after the Oktoberfest, I spent the night with Elise. Marlee came later.
I've had fun.
I've learned some new things about some people too...
And I miss Alora! DECEMBER, HURRY UP! Well, it might be November now?! I'm not sure though...
Anyways, I'm so tired. I'll write tomorrow.
XOXO, Emily Love
Genesis 5:24 "And ENOCH walked with God."
Saturday, October 4, 2008
"Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist"
That movie was incredulously adorable! I most definitely, for sure, 100%, positively, absolutely recommend that movie. GO SEE IT!
Today was.... fun, but alot was still bothering me. New items were added to my "List of Annoyances/Frustrations/Depressional Reasons".
I woke up around 8 (yes, in the morning, on a Saturday- BIZARRE!) to go work at the concessions for my dad. He's President of Mtn. View Recreation, which is a sports center thing. Hahaha, I think you can get the picture. Anyways, I get paid to do that, so at least it's half-rewarding.
Then, around 2-ish, Samantha, her mom, and her mom's boyfriend Jim came and picked me up and we went to this art "festival" in the "boondocks". It was hardly what I would call a festival. There was a total of about 7 booths. We didn't stay long.
Before that we ate at The Taproom, which is this delicious downtown restaurant.
Then, we went back to the fields because my dad was going to take us to the movies. But he had too much stuff in his car and not enough room, so Samantha's mom came back and picked us up and we went to her house for a little bit before the movies. She recently moved to a new house, and I hadn't been there yet- so I got to see it. It's a nice house.
Then, of course, we went to go see "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" and afterwards we went to Target.
Finally, they took me home. I wanted to stay the night, because Samantha asked me to, but I have church in the morning and after church I'm going home with Zack and Josh and their whole family, to get ready for band practice.
Oh, and I wrote this song tonight. Here's the lyrics that I have so far:
"you're changing, i'm standing here alone
time's wasting, passing quickly all the same
you're changing, i wish i would've known
time's wasting, and you're forgetting my name
i don't know what to say to make you stay
now things are in reverse and i am breaking away
i'll wave goodbye, won't you run after me?
turns out broken promises is all we were meant to be"
I'll finish it sometime tonight, or tomorrow, or whenever the rest comes to me.
I need to get some sleep....
There is way too much on my mind. I know, I know, when is there not? This is starting to overwhelm me.
Goodnight.
XOXO, Emily Love
You're hurting me, and you either don't care or you don't realize it. Either way, you have no way to justify this. I need you to be here for me. Please?
Today was.... fun, but alot was still bothering me. New items were added to my "List of Annoyances/Frustrations/Depressional Reasons".
I woke up around 8 (yes, in the morning, on a Saturday- BIZARRE!) to go work at the concessions for my dad. He's President of Mtn. View Recreation, which is a sports center thing. Hahaha, I think you can get the picture. Anyways, I get paid to do that, so at least it's half-rewarding.
Then, around 2-ish, Samantha, her mom, and her mom's boyfriend Jim came and picked me up and we went to this art "festival" in the "boondocks". It was hardly what I would call a festival. There was a total of about 7 booths. We didn't stay long.
Before that we ate at The Taproom, which is this delicious downtown restaurant.
Then, we went back to the fields because my dad was going to take us to the movies. But he had too much stuff in his car and not enough room, so Samantha's mom came back and picked us up and we went to her house for a little bit before the movies. She recently moved to a new house, and I hadn't been there yet- so I got to see it. It's a nice house.
Then, of course, we went to go see "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" and afterwards we went to Target.
Finally, they took me home. I wanted to stay the night, because Samantha asked me to, but I have church in the morning and after church I'm going home with Zack and Josh and their whole family, to get ready for band practice.
Oh, and I wrote this song tonight. Here's the lyrics that I have so far:
"you're changing, i'm standing here alone
time's wasting, passing quickly all the same
you're changing, i wish i would've known
time's wasting, and you're forgetting my name
i don't know what to say to make you stay
now things are in reverse and i am breaking away
i'll wave goodbye, won't you run after me?
turns out broken promises is all we were meant to be"
I'll finish it sometime tonight, or tomorrow, or whenever the rest comes to me.
I need to get some sleep....
There is way too much on my mind. I know, I know, when is there not? This is starting to overwhelm me.
Goodnight.
XOXO, Emily Love
You're hurting me, and you either don't care or you don't realize it. Either way, you have no way to justify this. I need you to be here for me. Please?
Friday, October 3, 2008
I LOVE ALORA!
December seriously could not come any more excrutiatingly slow.
She's always there for me.
Always.
No matter what.
Maybe some other girls I know should take a few tips from her.
I know, that sounds bitter. I need to go to talk to God, and get my heart straightened out before things get worse (which they obviously are, even if I do post blogs with huge fonts)....
I LOVE YOU ALORA.
XOXO, Emily Love
She's always there for me.
Always.
No matter what.
Maybe some other girls I know should take a few tips from her.
I know, that sounds bitter. I need to go to talk to God, and get my heart straightened out before things get worse (which they obviously are, even if I do post blogs with huge fonts)....
I LOVE YOU ALORA.
XOXO, Emily Love
P.S.S-
TODAY IS OCTOBER THIRD! NO, NOT JUST FIRST, BUT THIRD.
NO MORE GROUNDING FROM MARLEE!
:D
(Smiley faces do not have to be identical to my mood in no means. This should've been posted on October 1st, obviously, so this is making up for it. So, if you're thinking I'm a bipolar lunatic- I'm not exactly a bipolar one. Maybe a lunatic.)
NO MORE GROUNDING FROM MARLEE!
:D
(Smiley faces do not have to be identical to my mood in no means. This should've been posted on October 1st, obviously, so this is making up for it. So, if you're thinking I'm a bipolar lunatic- I'm not exactly a bipolar one. Maybe a lunatic.)
What do I call this?
I don't even know what to title this blog. I mean, if I could at least get ahold of my feelings, I might be "decent" or even "okay", but I can't even do that....
It seems to get even more impossible everyday.
Alot of things are bothering me right now. I don't want to sound ungrateful or picky, but I really need to let off some steam.
(FYI: This steam isn't necessarily "angry steam" or whatever. It doesn't have to be an angry emotion, just to let you know.)
Today wasn't so good.
It started off amazing- with 1st period. We had to present our 3-D Cell projects to the class, and some people made cakes and stuff in the shapes of eukaryotic cells. There was some really creative stuff! But because my last name begins with a 'U', I didn't get to go yet. Instead, I have to present Monday. I wanted to present it today.... so, I guess you could say it all went downhill from there.
Civics wasn't especially anything. It was just Civics. Plain ole' boring Civics. Wait, wait- let me rephrase that. Plain 'ole boring Mr. Howard. Civics itself I find extremely interesting- call me crazy. Mr. Howard is a generally nice person, don't get me wrong, but he is just so bland. BUT- I made either a 93 or a 91 on the Chapter 6 Test today! That, actually, made me happy. I studied really hard for it last night. I would've liked to have made at least a 95, but hey- I'm not complaining. The only reason I didn't (not to brag) is because he put some questions on there that didn't even relate to Civics!? He even admitted they weren't relevant. Whatever...
Theatre Arts is always my favorite class. (And just a little sidenote: Marlee, if you're reading this, I know exactly what you're thinking. Maybe even Makenzie too. Y'all, ssssshhhh ;D) Anyways, back on-topic. Today, Theatre Arts was contradicting itself. It was still my favorite part of the day, but it's also when I started crying? I'm not sure how that adds up, but somehow it does. Mrs. Blake had me make copies for the upcoming production, 'Seussical'. (Oh! I forgot to say that Mrs. Blake wants me to be in it, as a "bird girl". I didn't even audition, she just asked me, because she knows I sing. So, I'll be a small part of that. Some other girls quit, and she needed help- and I love singing, and I like acting a lot too, so why not? More news on that will probably come later.) That took up the whole first half of that period. Then, I went to lunch. I forgot lunch money, and I was starving. It was quite depressing, really. Brittany bought me a cookie (Thank you so much!), but it didn't hold me up for the rest of the day. Plus, I really wasn't in the mood for anything sweet. I was extremely quiet at lunch.... things were building up inside me. I wasn't quite sure just what to do with myself, or what to think. I was texting Alora though, and of course that made me feel at least a little better. I can't exactly say what/who/the situation that was bothering me; people might read it and get offended or ticked off. And I don't want that to happen. I am most definitely NOT trying to cause trouble in any way, shape or form.
Let's just say...... people change in high school, BIG TIME. When I was younger, even most of last year, I just laughed it off when people said that for the most part. I figured that me and my friends were going to stick together through everything, and that our morals would never waver. I figured upperclassmen just said that to sound much cooler than us freshmen. Now, I'm a sophomore, and I'm not saying that's the reason I finally figured out that what they were saying was really true, but I'm just saying that freshmen year was like the final cut-off for 90% of everyone's innocence.
But not mine. I'm still so naive, and that gives everyone reason to take advantage of me. All my friends morals are in fact wavering, but mine are standing strong. It hurts to see everyone falling around me, caught in the same trap. If we were all soldiers, would I be the last one standing?
It's really ironic how at the same time I'm sticking to my morals, it pains me. Everyday. That's supposed to be a good thing, correct? But instead, I just get taken advantage of, picked on. I'm not bragging on myself- not one bit- I'm just wondering how such a "respected" thing in "Adult World" is considered "lame" and "uncool" in high school. I'm not giving up though. I refuse.
Is it okay to be strong and so, so weak at the same time? Is that possible?
Anyways, back to Theater Arts. I had to give someone his jacket back. Everyone, him first, could tell something was wrong. They asked me to talk about, told me that they were good listeners. It wasn't that I didn't believe them, it was just that just like every other time I try to explain my feelings in words rather than song- it made no sense.
I can't even exactly pinpoint the exact cause of my depression today- it was so many things at once.
I definitely can't put the name or what happened in here, because I don't want word to get back to him, as all of us in Hickory know it will. Small towns, fast talk. But something happened, and it was supposed to make me feel better- and it did. But it also made me cry even faster, and more.
I'm sorry- that probably makes no sense. I just wanted to say that, to get it out, for myself. Selfish relief.
Fourth period, Yearbook, was fine. I was still upset. And Makenzie could tell. It really pains me that she cared that I was upset. I know, I know, that seriously makes no sense. What I mean is, it made me happy that she cared, but it made me reminisce a bit. Back to when me and her were so close, like- inseperable. I don't know.... I just really, really miss Makenzie.
People change and promises are broken, right?
That's what some wise person once.... uh, sang, to me.
I've started a ritual. Every morning I have what I like to call a "Jam Session with Jesus". I only play worship music, and I just sing my heart out- to Him and Him only. I've been getting closer to Him, and I am more than excited about that. He's exactly what I need.
By the way- LITTLE SIDENOTE FOR MARLEE- thank you for my part in your blog. You know what you mean to me. I couldn't even begin to explain it on here, so, sorry love, I won't try.
Maybe I should stop.
I'm positive I'm boring y'all... at least a little bit, if not a lot.
I'll write more later though, there's still so much to say.
XOXO, Emily Love
"Sick and tired of this world, there's no more air. Tripping over myself, going nowhere. Waiting, suffocated, no direction, I took a dive and- on the way down, I saw you and you saved me from myself, and I won't forget the way you loved me. And on the way down, I almost fell right through, but I held on to you..."
If you only knew.
It seems to get even more impossible everyday.
Alot of things are bothering me right now. I don't want to sound ungrateful or picky, but I really need to let off some steam.
(FYI: This steam isn't necessarily "angry steam" or whatever. It doesn't have to be an angry emotion, just to let you know.)
Today wasn't so good.
It started off amazing- with 1st period. We had to present our 3-D Cell projects to the class, and some people made cakes and stuff in the shapes of eukaryotic cells. There was some really creative stuff! But because my last name begins with a 'U', I didn't get to go yet. Instead, I have to present Monday. I wanted to present it today.... so, I guess you could say it all went downhill from there.
Civics wasn't especially anything. It was just Civics. Plain ole' boring Civics. Wait, wait- let me rephrase that. Plain 'ole boring Mr. Howard. Civics itself I find extremely interesting- call me crazy. Mr. Howard is a generally nice person, don't get me wrong, but he is just so bland. BUT- I made either a 93 or a 91 on the Chapter 6 Test today! That, actually, made me happy. I studied really hard for it last night. I would've liked to have made at least a 95, but hey- I'm not complaining. The only reason I didn't (not to brag) is because he put some questions on there that didn't even relate to Civics!? He even admitted they weren't relevant. Whatever...
Theatre Arts is always my favorite class. (And just a little sidenote: Marlee, if you're reading this, I know exactly what you're thinking. Maybe even Makenzie too. Y'all, ssssshhhh ;D) Anyways, back on-topic. Today, Theatre Arts was contradicting itself. It was still my favorite part of the day, but it's also when I started crying? I'm not sure how that adds up, but somehow it does. Mrs. Blake had me make copies for the upcoming production, 'Seussical'. (Oh! I forgot to say that Mrs. Blake wants me to be in it, as a "bird girl". I didn't even audition, she just asked me, because she knows I sing. So, I'll be a small part of that. Some other girls quit, and she needed help- and I love singing, and I like acting a lot too, so why not? More news on that will probably come later.) That took up the whole first half of that period. Then, I went to lunch. I forgot lunch money, and I was starving. It was quite depressing, really. Brittany bought me a cookie (Thank you so much!), but it didn't hold me up for the rest of the day. Plus, I really wasn't in the mood for anything sweet. I was extremely quiet at lunch.... things were building up inside me. I wasn't quite sure just what to do with myself, or what to think. I was texting Alora though, and of course that made me feel at least a little better. I can't exactly say what/who/the situation that was bothering me; people might read it and get offended or ticked off. And I don't want that to happen. I am most definitely NOT trying to cause trouble in any way, shape or form.
Let's just say...... people change in high school, BIG TIME. When I was younger, even most of last year, I just laughed it off when people said that for the most part. I figured that me and my friends were going to stick together through everything, and that our morals would never waver. I figured upperclassmen just said that to sound much cooler than us freshmen. Now, I'm a sophomore, and I'm not saying that's the reason I finally figured out that what they were saying was really true, but I'm just saying that freshmen year was like the final cut-off for 90% of everyone's innocence.
But not mine. I'm still so naive, and that gives everyone reason to take advantage of me. All my friends morals are in fact wavering, but mine are standing strong. It hurts to see everyone falling around me, caught in the same trap. If we were all soldiers, would I be the last one standing?
It's really ironic how at the same time I'm sticking to my morals, it pains me. Everyday. That's supposed to be a good thing, correct? But instead, I just get taken advantage of, picked on. I'm not bragging on myself- not one bit- I'm just wondering how such a "respected" thing in "Adult World" is considered "lame" and "uncool" in high school. I'm not giving up though. I refuse.
Is it okay to be strong and so, so weak at the same time? Is that possible?
Anyways, back to Theater Arts. I had to give someone his jacket back. Everyone, him first, could tell something was wrong. They asked me to talk about, told me that they were good listeners. It wasn't that I didn't believe them, it was just that just like every other time I try to explain my feelings in words rather than song- it made no sense.
I can't even exactly pinpoint the exact cause of my depression today- it was so many things at once.
I definitely can't put the name or what happened in here, because I don't want word to get back to him, as all of us in Hickory know it will. Small towns, fast talk. But something happened, and it was supposed to make me feel better- and it did. But it also made me cry even faster, and more.
I'm sorry- that probably makes no sense. I just wanted to say that, to get it out, for myself. Selfish relief.
Fourth period, Yearbook, was fine. I was still upset. And Makenzie could tell. It really pains me that she cared that I was upset. I know, I know, that seriously makes no sense. What I mean is, it made me happy that she cared, but it made me reminisce a bit. Back to when me and her were so close, like- inseperable. I don't know.... I just really, really miss Makenzie.
People change and promises are broken, right?
That's what some wise person once.... uh, sang, to me.
I've started a ritual. Every morning I have what I like to call a "Jam Session with Jesus". I only play worship music, and I just sing my heart out- to Him and Him only. I've been getting closer to Him, and I am more than excited about that. He's exactly what I need.
By the way- LITTLE SIDENOTE FOR MARLEE- thank you for my part in your blog. You know what you mean to me. I couldn't even begin to explain it on here, so, sorry love, I won't try.
Maybe I should stop.
I'm positive I'm boring y'all... at least a little bit, if not a lot.
I'll write more later though, there's still so much to say.
XOXO, Emily Love
"Sick and tired of this world, there's no more air. Tripping over myself, going nowhere. Waiting, suffocated, no direction, I took a dive and- on the way down, I saw you and you saved me from myself, and I won't forget the way you loved me. And on the way down, I almost fell right through, but I held on to you..."
If you only knew.
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