I wish I knew how to word what I feel like I need to be letting out. It's all in my head, but nothing ever comes out right. People say they're there for me and that I can talk to them, but I just don't know what to say. It doesn't even make sense to me.

Last night I went to mass with Kimmie and then Life Teen with Kelly, which is the youth group at their church. I really, really enjoyed it. We all discussed the way we should present ourself. Our image. We also talked about how different areas and things in our life stress us out. We had an open, large group discussion. But because at first I can be somewhat shy, I didn't contribute to the conversation. I wish I would have. I tried, but every time I got up the nerve someone else started talking and I didn't want to interrupt.

What I was going to say was that I feel that pop culture and the media is constantly telling us to compare ourselves. I know that I personally compare myself to other people every day. I get insecure every day. I feel judged every day. It's a huge and depressing part of my life. But having alone-time with Jesus is the only place that I don't feel judged. I don't feel insecure. I don't feel the need to compare myself. I may feel all of those things, but I come to Him because I know that He is the only one that is capable of taking all that hurt away. That's why it is so very important to spend quality time with God, in silence. Don't be afraid of silence, because silence is good for you. I'm slowly starting to learn and realize that.

One of the youth leaders gave us all two stickers, and there were four posters up: pop culture, family and friends, fear of change, and classwork. We had to put our two stickers on the poster of things that stress us out the most. Reality hit me straight in the face when I realized that all of them were stressing me out completely. I was amazed that some kids didn't feel like they needed to put a sticker on anything, when I felt like I needed more stickers.


Summer's coming! Today is so pretty. Yesterday was so pretty. I'm enjoying all these beautiful days. I wish they'd never go away.