Tell me, familiar stranger, can you see the fear in my eyes?

I've never wrote poetry. I've always wrote songs. But do little phrases like the title to this blog of mine count towards my artistic abilities scale?

I stared in awe at the sunset this morning. I'd love to say that I woke up to it, except for the fact that I was already awake when it was coming up so radiantly over the trees. So beautiful. I can't even describe, or put into words, it's magnificence. If you've never "woke up" to or just seen the sunset, you are most definitely missing out. Out here in the country, in the middle of nowhere, the Boondocks, whatever you want to call it- I must say we do have the best view of the sunset and the stars. Well, we have the best view from anywhere else I've ever been.

I was supposed to get up semi-earlyish and do housework for my dad. He doesn't like it when I don't get up at a reasonable time. But it's Saturday! Saturday is like, the day for sleeping in, correct? Oh well. I hate being a disappointment to him though, in any way. Disappointment is my motivation. I fear of being a disappointment, so I motivate myself to get things done.

I was reading The Shack the other day. It makes me think a lot about my relationship with God, and I love that. It scares me at the same time, how far away I am from the level I want to be with Him. I should do my own little bible studies each day on here. Or I'll just do them in my room, to my self.

You know, sometimes we get so caught up in life and how things should be that we don't take in to account how things really are. If you can find where you are at in your life, then you know where to start. But if you just keep wishing things were better and keep imagining how things should be or how they could be, always thinking the grass is greener on the other side- you'll miss out on the little things that are truly amazing.

♥
XOXO, Emily

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I read your blogs. If I'm being honest with myself and with you, they really touched me and I cried my eyes out. I don't know what to say though. Of course, I want all those things back too. But I've wanted those things back to how they used to be for a long time. And when I wanted things back that way, you didn't.
And to be honest (again), I'm scared that you'll just keep spending all your time with your boyfriend. I know he's your boyfriend, but where does your "best friend" fit into your life? I need time with you too.
Oh, and, let's be honest, again. Ha. (Let's be honest all the time!?) I know I told you that I don't want to just drop all of my other friends for you, and that's true. And I was being honest.... but, not completely.... because I never told you, that sometimes.... I feel like I don't need anyone else, but you.

Except, sometimes, you can't go off of just a feeling.