The rain outside is breathtaking. I want to go run, jump, scream, dance, yell, play and sing in it. Maybe I will.

"There is nothing like a dream to create the future." -Victor Hugo

I have got to believe in myself, but everyday it feels more and more impossible. Confidence becomes farther and farther away from my grasp. I have to remember, as do we all, that "God's spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us," (Romans 8:26). That is the Word of God, and God is never wrong. Therefore, I should live as if He is always beside me, instead of behind me. If I do not trust in Him, my life will never be complete.

As a claim to my newfound trust in Jesus Christ, I am giving up meat and all drinks other than water and juice for lent. In the South, giving up sweet tea, will be a revolution. I might even be in the newspaper for that one. That was a joke, by the way... Anyways, I wanted to do something that would really be difficult, and I think this definitely will be. I'm going to dedicate myself to this, because the Lord gave his son for me. This is the least I can do, but I will do it wholeheartedly.

I am also trying to let go of any hateful or boorish comments towards another person, and become a beneficent citizen to this society. I know everyone has made fun of someone at least once in their life, but I no longer want to be a part of everyone. I understand the hurt that comes along with being made fun of, and the last thing I want to be is a hypocrite.

I miss you, but your attitude pushes me away. You tell me about all of your new best friends that you're getting extremely close to, and maybe I should be a good friend and be happy for you. I am, but I'm also a very jealous person. Envy is another emotion of mine that I really need to work on controlling. I'm not as strong as you think I am.

I feel like writing this blog is pointless, and that no one truly cares whether or not I update. Nevertheless, I still write in it everyday. I guess it soothes me.

It seems as if my heart melts when I'm around you, so that I can't feel a thing. I'm numb, but I can feel every emotion I've ever felt all at once. I forget who I am, who I want to be, who I was, and who I'm trying to be for that one moment, and my true self comes out. All because of you. You make everything seem so real, but yet you're a mystery. You never say a word, but your eyes are screaming things at me. I may be invisible to you, but invisibility is crystal clear. You can't see it, but you can feel it, all around you.

Citizenship

Our most recent writing assignment in Honors English II has this prompt: "Write a speech for your high school graduating class on the meaning of good citizenship."

Citizenship is defined as the status of being a citizen, that is, a person owing loyalty to and entitled to the protection of a particular state. Historic, honorable people such as Abraham Lincoln and JFK were huge citizenship-fans. Citizenship meant a lot to them, and showed a lot about one's character. In the Fourteenth Amendment of the United States Consitution it states, "All persons are born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside." We confront citizenship as a legal issue: whether or not you were born in the United States, and if you were not, if you took the test and became a legal citizen. But citizenship is about so much more than that. Take away the government, and you will still have citizenship. Because citizenship isn't just about respecting your government. In fact, have you ever reversed it? Maybe citizenship is about being loyal to what is true and just- not the government. People are afraid to say things like that. It depends on what you are being loyal to, but no matter what, citizenship is about morality. If your government is dwelling in idiocracy and hypocrisy, then I believe that it is your job as a good citizen to voice your opinion.